Great Missenden Pelicans 2019
Year Played Won Drawn Tied Lost Cancelled
2019 25 10 7 0 8 3

Sunday 22nd September vs Bovingdon

Great Missenden Pelicans 143 (John Greenwood 34*, Raghu Kankate 32)   Bovingdon 144-7 (Jack Blackburn 3-19)

LOST by 3 wickets

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

No Match Report

Sunday 15th September vs Hyde Heath

Great Missenden Pelicans 146 (Raheel Khan 48)   Hyde Heath fewer (details awaited)...

WON

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

No Match Report

Sunday 8th September vs Ley Hill

Great Missenden Pelicans 273-4 (Asad Rehman 96, Raheel Khan 61, Amit Singh 53)   Ley Hill 193-3 (Andrew Marshall 2-28)

Match DRAWN

With the sun beating down on the meadow and a full days cricket to enjoy, what possibly could go wrong.

Another Sunday another toss, Skip strode out to the wicket with Paul the Ley Hill Skip and duly tossed, Skip duly lost and was put into bat……..the last thing we wanted.

Opening for the Pelicans we had the Stan and Ollie double act itself, Raheel and Asad, or Asad and Raheel I can never tell the difference such are the similarities.

I am at a loss to pad this out but Asad and Raheel both feasted at the table of average bowling and fielding of a standard even the Pelicans rarely enter.

Highlights were Asad being dropped a million times as he lost more and more interest in proceedings, Asad surviving a stumping after he danced half way down the wicket missed the ball, did a circuit of the ground, aged 15 years, got married, had a family, packed the youngest off to school and still made it back into his crease before the Ley Hill wicket keeper took the bails off.

Raheel at the other end similarly helped himself to this friendly fire, until on 64 decided enough was enough and got out.
Asad continued with his slogathon and on 96 duly missed one and was bowled.

This fine pair of batting superstars were replaced by Amit and Ali. To be honest I cant remember how many runs they got as Amit appeared to hit more balls left handed than right and Ali who must have been on something proceeded to run quick singles, yes you heard it right QUICK SINGLES.

As I don’t have the book to hand I can not recollect how many runs they amassed but it had continued in the same vein as before until these two ninjas were also out and brought Niron and Harry to the crease.

It must be said with the score board heading north of 250 Skip was contemplating declaring but the constant moaning from the Ley Hill wicket Keeper about how many overs they were bowling and how we were getting too many runs put paid to that. The highlight was the final over before tea when both umpires were in place with a minute to go and the said wicket keeper who had not changed ends complained that indeed time should be taken when he was ready at the other end. Suffice it to say such logic was consigned to where it belonged and another needless over was bowled to prove a point, and tea was taken with 273 on the board. Now we have chased this total down and we have lost it from this total so all was to play for.

Tea now this is where it starts getting exciting as this week it was a Harry Kendall affair, and as affairs go this was worthy of Mrs Robinson. A fine array of sandwiches and cakes were presented before the teams and devoured with gusto and appreciation.

With tummies bulging the Pelicans took to the field, opening we had the old war horse himself, Toobes and new to the Pelicans Andrew Marshall Esq.

It is fair to say that Toobes’s first over was not his best, but as for Marsho, straight in on line and length and a wicked piece of swing.

With Ley Hill having a go the ball was bound to get up in the air at some point, and indeed it did. Now I won’t say who the Pelican was who dropped the first catch suffice it to say he is a lovely chap. With shouts of hard luck Amir the Pelican bowlers manfully carried on and with Marsho’s bowling sliding ever past the bat eventually a ball was slapped up into the air and taken by Amit, the first of no doubt many Peli wickets for Marsho, in fact the second of his many didn’t take long to happen as Raheel plucked his next victim out of the air.

A fine opening display from Andrew.

With both Toobes and Andrew retired from the bowling the Pelican rescue came to bowl, AA…..Adam and Amir.

It was at this stage with about 23 overs still to go that the Ley Hill batsmen decided to shut up shop and go for the draw. I would like to pad this out a bit but I am struggling as the left hand opener carried on taking his shots but not his partners who like Gandalf announced ‘Thy shall not pass’. Amazingly in a fit of excitement the ball was slapped just under a Boeing 747 cruising height right above Harry. There he stood literally legs wobbling as the ball descended at 400mph into those cupped hands, and there it stayed.

This was about the last bit of action as a further 20 overs of blocking out was endured, the game ended and the Pelicans retired to the Nags Head for a de-brief and a bit of excitement.

There you go. Not much to say.

Time for a joke
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor breakdancing, moonwalking, back flipping, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, ” See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
Husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating”

Postscript:

Such was the soporific nature of the match it appears that it I forgot to mention what was by far the major moment of the game.

Niron finally handed the wicket keeping gloves was ready to do battle behind the stumps, Skip shown real confidence from Niron with his “are you sure” question. He was.

Now to be fair a number of balls were going down the leg side which were well taken, there were also a few which went through the gloves which had the same result from our Calypso Catcher, namely stare intently at the offending gloves, practice the catch without the aid of a ball (which mostly was successful) and then prepare for the next ball.

All was going swimmingly until off Andrew’s bowling a ball decided to not deviate at all, catching our Caribbean Queen off guard somewhat. With wicket keeping gloves thrust forward to receive the ball Niron somehow took the ball in a legs akimbo gait and unfortunately the enormous gloves proved useless in stopping the ball allowing it to smash full force into the Niron Pods. Such was the force of ball hitting box a red leather mark was there for all to see. Thankfully this was on the upper box, the middle box was undamaged as was the lower one.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 1st September vs Bledlow Village

Bledlow Village 153 (Raghu Kankate 4-30, Amir Jafri 4-42)   Great Missenden Pelicans 156-1 (Asad Rehman 111*)

WON by 9 wickets

As Danny Kaye once said, ” The pellet with the poison’s in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.”

Let me tell you The Pelicans drank from the chalice.

On a day that saw Northwood using our prepared wicket after confirming to PG they were not playing, a hastily rearranged wicket was created, and what a wicket it turned out to be. With Skip as expected losing the toss the Pelicans were asked to bowl, again a bit of a victory there.

With the memories of last year still fresh in the Pelicans memory a youthful looking team took to the field as Toobes and Kunaal opened up the bowling. With Toobes keeping the run rate going for Bledlow it was down to Kunaal to do the opposite which he did with aplomb, indeed with 12 overs on the board and 48 runs to their name Bledlow lost their first wicket LBW to Kunaal for 12 runs, this seemed to have informed Toobes as to why he was there as 3 balls later he removed the Bledlow skipper with a caught and bowled for 0, a particularly sweet moment as last year Toobes had been carted to all four corners of Bucks by their Skipper.

With Toobes still leaking runs he was finally removed to be replaced by Amir, Kunaal squeezed in another over and finished with excellent figures of 9 overs 4 maidens 1 for 33, a great start. Taking over from Kankate K we had Kankate R, I bet you can’t guess what happened to the run rate.

Now in the field it is fair to say we have struggled of late but today it was different as the Pelicans went about their fielding duties with the purpose of a Panzer division, Rupert busied himself around the field and even Rags stopped some boundaries.

With the Bledlow bats going for ever more bigger hits it didn’t take long for Rags to trap his first victim, the opener who was on 54 LBW a fine ball and a good wicket to get.

Next over we then witnessed witchcraft, the Grand Wizard that is Amir called Asad in from cover to not quite silly mid off but not far. Asad with the look of “I’m going to be wearing this around my fac”e hesitated, Amir called him forward another step then stopped him dead in his tracks. Amir bowled Bledlow number 5 pushes the ball straight into Asads hands. In days gone by Amir would have immediately been cast into a pond.

Rags not wishing to be outdone he removed bat number 6 a fine catch from Rupert, yes another catch.

Amir not content with sorcery then took a fairly pivotal wicket that of their number 4 batsman who similarly was dismissed for 54 a nice catch from Kunaal……..

With our tails up Rags bowled over number 8 and removed batsman number 8, who slapped the ball back towards Rags at mach 2 only for Rags to then grab hold of the ball, another catch.

Batsman number 10 was Rags’ next victim LBW, it was during these celebrations Rags complained about losing his run up, with figures of 8 overs 4 for 30 he can lose it as much as he likes.

Amir meanwhile not content with his two wickets had kept Asad in close who then caught batsman number 7, batsman number 9 was then dismissed by some quick stumping from Wild Ginger himself, Tickles. A fine way to end an innings from Ticks and a fine way for Amir to bring their innings to a close with figures of 9.1 overs 4 for 42.

The last 6 wickets went for 20 runs, amazing, and what’s even more amazing 6 catches. There can be only one reason for this, we were possessed.

With both teams trooping off the field it was time for tea, it was a Nico tea so quality would not be an issue. It’s fair to say, thank goodness we bowled as both teams tucked in to a menu of veggie mince, shredded chicken, cakes, fruit and some Afghans, quality, absolute quality, and after his preparing of the wicket earlier that day, a big thanks.

So having kept Bledlow to 153 runs Raheel and Asad were sent in to chase it down.

With the run rate ticking along nicely at 32 the two Pelican openers looked comfortable, it would take something special to remove them, and as you expect that is what happened as the Bledlow skipper took an absolute blinding catch at first slip to remover Raheel, sometimes you just hold your hand up and say well done.

Asad was now joined by Kunaal and to be honest there is not much for me to say other than Asad absolutely hammered the Bledlow bowling, and in fairly short order was celebrating his 100, unusually for Kunaal his innings of 19 contained only one 4.

Asad brought the game to a close with a pavilion bound six and a smashed 4 on 111 after only 25 overs, a fabulous display of destructive batting backed up by the bridesmaid that is Kunaal. Brilliance all round.

Ali meanwhile undid his pads having sat with them for the best part of all the innings.

What can I say, a truly excellent fielding display and carnage on the batting. Victory.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 25th August vs Widmer End

Widmer End 241 (Raghu Kankate 3-47)   Great Missenden Pelicans 207-8 (Asad Rehman 74, Amit Singh 48)

Match DRAWN

On a day that we welcomed back Hotty Hotterson to the Field of Dreams the Pelicans amassed with one aim and one aim only, don’t be as rubbish in the field as we were last week.

Skip with pleadings from the team to bat first went out to do the honours with the WE Skip, the toss was lost and the Pelicans were put into field not much change there then.

As the thermometer hit 30 degrees the bowling was opened up by Toobes at the Railway end and Amit at the Nags end. It is fair to say after a three week holiday Amit looked like he was still tanning himself as he got smashed to the 4 corners of the ground, Toobes fared little better as the openers made their intentions known and decided to smash as many 4s and 6s as they could.

After 3 overs Amit was put out of his misery and put out to grass and Rags aka The Robot was brought into the attack. Toobes in the meantime had realised that the wicket was a useful tool to bounce the ball off finally took his first wicket, this was quickly followed by his second, proving the old adage one makes two correct

Rags as you would expect severely reduced the run rate and off his first 3 overs had only 4 runs taken off him. Indeed it was in this early part of his bowling attack that the Pelicans had their first fielding slip up, Amir out by the clubhouse had the ball dropping down his throat, try as he may to get out of the way it landed in his hands and then nestled as content as a chick in its downey nest by his feet. With the opener on 15 and hitting out we expected this not to be too drastic a drop.
Toobes by now finishing his 7th over was put out of his misery and taken off before he did himself a mischief, Rags though continued and finally got his first wicket to go with his miserly run rate in-fact having decided that possibly catching wasn’t our strong point he carried the theme of taking such a possibility out of the equation by bowling the opposition out which he did three times. Once again it was a Kankate bowling display of the highest order with 11 overs 3 for 47. As for the opener he was still there.

Following Toobes, the Pelicans had Amir, looking fresh from his holiday and ready to unleash hell, unfortunately the hell that was unleashed was more of the downey chick variety as the WE opener carried on his slog fest, still Amir game-fully stuck to his task and was unlucky on a number of occasions not to get his man, another day it would be a different story, with the run rate increasing it was time to turn to some twirling magic, step forward Raheel and Adam.

By now the Pelicans had decided that the only way to remove the opener would be pure exhaustion, and as he went for yet another heave Raheel finally had his man bowled for 147, Raheel soon took his second wicket a fine catch by Jalil who is now flying up the fielding honours following his similar endeavours at Middleton Stoney.

Adam not wishing to be left out soon had his wicket and Raheel then drew proceedings to a close by bowling out their last man to be all out for 241. I can confidently say we were not as bad as the week before where we leaked 242 runs.

This week the Pelicans and WE were graced with a Fairweather tea. Now this is usually a special occasion and today was no different as a feast of truly tasty and epic proportions was laid out to feed not only the two teams but the Saga away day that had amassed to watch the game.

With tummies full it was down to openers to start the run chase. It was a bit like ordering your usual restaurant dish something spicy and quick to fill your stomach washed down with a full bodied Rioja, or as we say Asad and Raheel. Asad deciding not to run and swatting 4s and 6s, and in no time reaching his 50 whilst Raheel took the singles and his time, eventually falling for 33.

Raheel was replaced by Amit who after swishing and swatting thin air decided that actually hitting the ball would be more productive, and not just all over the ground but consistently between slips 1 to 4.

Asad as the other week continued his excellent form and unfortunately fell on 74 a great foundation for the Pelicans, indeed as Amit continued pummelling the WE bowling the foundations looked incredibly strong, the hope was the walls were not made out of cute duck chick down.

With Asad out Ali was sent into battle and immediately hit a four. With Skip scoring Adam turned around and predicted next ball Ali out, mystic Adam as he will now known would in days gone by been burnt at the stake for witchcraft such was his accuracy, although we know that Ali is more of a Swiss watch when he looks to be in this mood as he trudged back to the clubhouse.

Following Ali we had the rock himself Niron partnering Amir. Amir being a true Peli decided attack was the best course of action as quick singles were taken, unfortunately it was whilst pushing the scoring on that he was run out. Never fear a Kankate is here and up stepped Rags, who never left his crease once as he smashed 20 runs before he too succummbed, Jalil soon followed caught LBW which brought Nico to the crease requiring 40 runs off four overs, a tall order you might think, but not in Nico’s mind. With all the intentions of emulating Ben Stokes Nico set to the WE bowling. Unfortunately our New Zealand import didn’t quite match England’s New Zealand import and was caught for 0.

During all the above Niron stood firm, Gandalfesque.

It was then down to Toobes and Niron to bring home the draw, which they did with great alacrity.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 18th August vs Old Elizabethans

Old Elizabethans 242-5   Great Missenden Pelicans 159-5 (Asad Rehman 87, Raheel Khan 42)

Match DRAWN

Man of the Match: Asad

Well that was rubbish opined the whole team following the absolute thumping draw that the Old Elizabethans inflicted on the Pelicans.

With rain following sunshine following rain following sunshine, Skipper had only one thought on his mind as the toss was tossed, bowl first, and so it came to pass as the oppo called tails and the coin ignored such a call and came up heads.

Opening up for the Pelicans was the usual Toobes and the not so usual Rags. With Toobes bowling we had the usual deliveries, full toss, follows leg side ball follows full toss, eventual straight one wicket. Such is the variation the straight one always catches them out. With 6 overs bowled Toobes was put out to grass with 1 for 34, meanwhile Rags who was in particularly mean mood continued his spell. Now when I say mean mood I don’t just mean the amount of runs being taken off his bowling but also his general demeanour as our mild mannered surgeon had suffered the wrath of the umpire. Let me explain. With Rags steaming in he unleashed a ball which moved away from the bat and according to Asad our wicketkeeper hit the ball straight into his gloves, hence loud appeal and general jubilation, only for the batsman to stand his ground and the umpire’s finger to remain resolutely in his pocket. This didn’t go down well with Rags who explained his general disbelief at such a decision, in a way that resulted in an umpire’s warning to Skip, unbelievable.

After an initial 9 overs Rags was duly rested primed for a return.

The new bowling line up according to the score book was Pete from the Railway end and Webber from the Nags end, well according to the Pelicans the new bowling line up was Nico and Adam, the Pelicans were bringing out the big guns and one half of the 4 tenors.

Nico did what Nico does although this time there was not the plethora of wickets, 4 overs of something very tight and then a cliff edge anyway his 5 overs were well bowled for a total of 30 runs.

Adam decided he would work it the other way with a cliff edge first over going for 18 and then 6 further overs of twirling whirling lobby lowwy on side off side stuff. Importantly it was Adam’s second over that saw him take the wicket of the OE bat who Rags had missed earlier. He had only added another 60 runs to his total of 4 when Rags had him. Adam finally finished his 7 overs with a very respectable 1 for 47, meanwhile taking over from Nico we had Kepa, or as we know him Jaffar.

It didn’t take our third tenor long to get into the swing of things, indeed second over and first wicket bowled, meanwhile making a welcome return to the Nags end we had Rags, who finally added a wicket to his bowling, a fine ball delivering an LBW decision, eventually Rags finished with figures of 13 overs 1 for 58.

Meanwhile from the Railway end Jaff continued on with what would be a 10 over spell, his second wicket a catch the first one of the day and after many oooohs and Ahhhhs Jaff finally finished his bowling spell with two wickets for 59 runs.

Now the elephant in the field was the Pelican fielding, to say we left a few runs out in the field would be an understatement, we left a bucket load as balls went between legs, under feet, rolled to a standstill as Pelicans stood and watched, dropped catches, failed to get to catches, failed to get, failed, fail, fa,f
We were rubbish and we would agree this at the end of the game, how could we not.

One area where we did not leave anything out was the tea, a magnificent affair from Nico, chicken in a wrap followed by three cheese bread, cakes, biscuits a fantastic spread which buoyed the spirits after such a fielding display.

With tummies full the Pelicans sat back and sent out Asad and Raheel to chase down the 242 posted by the OEs

Asad in imperious form made his intentions known as he slapped 4 followed by another 4 followed by a 6 and then another one, Raheel kept the run rate going with quick singles.

Unfortunately though the run rate just wasn’t fast enough as after 20 overs the Pelicans had posted 68 runs, Still Asad and Raheel continued and soon Asad was taking the applause for yet another 50 amazingly without a petulant flounce and swish of the bat.

Unfortunately this steady foundation came to an end with a run out. Now generally run outs tend to be somebody’s fault, in this instance there could be no blame attributed as a ball thrown in from the boundary amazingly hit the wickets and sent Asad back to the clubhouse for a lovely 87, as usually happens the next over saw Raheel packing for 42.

Standing out at the wicket the new Pelican batsmen were Clive and Shezad, with words of encouragement from Jaff, Shezad took the calls of “come on fatboy” as inspirational, so inspirational that he went for a run which Usain Bolt would have found difficulty making, unfortunately Shezad is our fourth tenor and his 0 to 60 possibly isn’t as rapid as Usain’s, consequently he fell victim to a run out. Meanwhile Clive looked to be in fine form as he slapped a beautiful cover drive for 4, unfortunately having only managed half a shredded wheat for breakfast his next shot was into the bowler’s hands where it stayed.

The new Pelican partnership was now Niron and Rags, the talk in the clubhouse was “we are not going to lose this”.

Unfortunately Niron didn’t quite read the script as after what was a lovely flick off his pads for 4 and all looked good in the garden he then lobbed one up to mid wicket.

With 4 overs to go and over a hundred runs needed it was fair to say that victory was possibly going to be out of reach, so a draw was the only solution which was indeed brought home by Toobes and Rags.

With the game over the Pelicans sat in the clubhouse and to a man agreed, we were rubbish

Widmer End must bear the brunt of this.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 11th August vs Middleton Stoney

Middleton Stoney 101 (Nic Vanderpeet 4-15)   Great Missenden Pelicans 21-0

Match DRAWN (rain)

Middleton Stoney, that means match cancelled by some biblical event, ion the past it has been swarms of ants, surely this summer it would be different.

Skip woke on the Sunday looked at the blue sky and cleaned off the unusual red cross that had appeared on his door during the night. Nico had kindly offered to drive to MS so frankly what could go wrong.

We eventually made it to MS after Nico had managed to get lost in a one horse village with two roads, no matter as Skip and MS Skip tossed the coin it was a victory for both teams as the MS Skip elected to bat.

Opening the bowling for the Pelicans there was an old fashioned familiarity as Toobes and Josh did their best. The bowling, well let’s politely say Toobes was not on his best form with a combination of wides and a beamer or two, Josh on the other hand was on form as in his first over he took his first wicket, caught by somebody I remember not but who cares what a start.
That in all honesty was that for the bowling of these two openers as Toobes eventually manufactured 8 overs 0 for 19 and Josh 9 overs 1 for 20. It must be said that Josh missed the stumps or the bat numerous times, it just wasn’t his day. When he eventually did connect with the bat he had the misfortune of hitting it to soapy oil hands who was wearing lard mittens, I will not name and shame as we are above that but this Pelican couldn’t catch herpes.

Taking over from Josh and Toobes we saw the new partnership of Pasi and Hasi, first over from Pasi first wicket, I think caught behind but again not sure, Has on the other hand had taken over from the great miser that is Rags as he bowled his 5 overs for the grand total of 9 runs, the high point being the wicket of the opener which was a beautiful slow ball which simply was not picked up.

Pasi continued his 5 over spell and finished with figures of 6 overs 2 for 18 with his second wicket again being a catch, again I have no clue who took it in-fact I am now doubting if indeed I was there.

With both Hasi and Pasi put out to grass and the MS run rate going at a steady pace, if you’re a dead slug, Skip brought in the big guns.

Video montage time, rousing music (ACDC heatseeker), slow mo used, step forward soapy oil hands.

Now as we all say when something is contested we say “look in the book” that is the font of all truth, well this time if we look in the book under who is bowling we find it was Adam Beerwether, frankly the book is truly amazing.

Bowling his loopy lobby best Beerwether had the MS bats totally bamboozled as he started his spell of bowling, he eventually finished with figures of 4 overs 0 for 15 a great spell.

This was only surpassed by the Aussie hero himself, N Vanderpett, I kid you not just look in the book. Video montage time, rousing music (Toy Dolls, Nelly the Elephant).

Now I don’t know how to describe Nic’s bowling spell other than to say awesome is an understatement as he cut through the MS lower batting order like a dose of sennapods.

He bowled 4 overs and his figures were 4 for 15. With prodigious turn his first wicket was a middle stump clean bowl, his second wicket was a quite amazing caught and bowled as the MS bat smashed it straight back to our Aussie hero only for him to stoop and one handed pluck it out of the air, his third wicket was another clean bowling as the MS bat decided to advance on our bowling machine and his final wicket was an LBW which reluctantly the umpire had to give, in the middle of this carnage we had a run out.

Now I use the term run out loosely as it involved Ali, but with a suicidal run shouted for Ali swooped down on the ball and underarmed it to Nic, he then managed to drop the ball and lose it between his legs, as this was unfolding the MS bat was getting ever closer to safety only for Nico to finally get his act together and run to the stumps and remove the bails.

MS innings over with a grand total of 101.

We had tea.

With the sky turning from blue to white to grey to black Has and As started the process of hunting down the rather low score, with conditions truly difficult and the MS bowlers landing it on a spot this plucky duo managed to get to 21 until the rain came down in BIBLICAL proportions, Match abandoned.

Next year it will be frogs or locusts.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 4th August vs Knotty Green

Knotty Green 127 all out (James Walters 4-26)   Great Missenden Pelicans 128-6 (Raghu Kankate 37)

WON by 4 wickets

Welcome back Knotty Green following Rickmansworth refusal to meet the might of the Pelicans.

With once again a surfeit of Pelicans appologies those who stood down the Pelicans sent their Skipper out to loose the toss and bowl first, well they were 50% right although in Skips mind it was 100%, oh yes toss won and bowling first ding dang doo.

Making a welcome return the Pelicans had Wild Ginger himself….Tickles behind the stumps taking over from Asad “I told you I was injured” Rehman.

Also making not only a welcome return to the Pelicans but also the UK flying straight in from Sri Lanka Pasi Ferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnandooooooooooooooooooo.

Opening the bowling for the Pelicans there was the familiar sight of Toobes at the Railway end and Haimes from the Nags Head End, the bowling unbelievably was very tight from both ends and it didnt take long for Toobes to take his first wicket in his second over, cheered on by his own team, well when I say cheered on there was the sound of Skipper Lala and Skipper Lalu or something like that, anyway one means brother and one means penis, I will let you decide between Jaffar and Jalil who said what.

From the Nags end Haimes as expected bowled with incredible meaness and finally got his just rewards in the 5th over with a wicket, removing the other opener, bowling him.

With 5 overs bowled Toobes was taken out of the attack for fear of some age related heart problem but managed respectful figures of 5 overs 1 for 12, following him the Pelicans welcomed the Sri Lankan express Pasi. Taking his customary 5 steps Pasi did what Pasi does best, ping balls down the wicket at Warp factor 3, as Clive would say, ” Somebodies going to die out there”, thankfully nobody did but also nobody scored any runs either.

Bowling from the Nags End we had Mr Metronome himself, Rags, it is fair to say due to the bowling the run rate was about as quick as a snail with a broken foot and a severed cerebral ganglia.

Now apologies here but the Knotty Green scorebook is such a mess I am working on scribble and memory but after 20 overs and drinks KG had amassed the grand total of 36.

With Rags going through his full repetoire of deliveries he finally took his first wicket a direct throw by non other than Ali, now I know there may be howls of disbelief but it happened, direct throw from point, bat up in the air, thank you very much, what were the chances of that, like lightning though we knew that wouldn’t happen again here.

Pasi at the Railway End also got into the wicket act as one of his “somebodies going to die” deliveries reared up took an edge and was taken by Asad at first slip, a fine catch. Pasi then finished his 7 over spell with yet another wicket and figures of 7 overs 2 for 7, how mean are those figures.

Taking over from Pasi the mighty Jaffar took the ball, looking every inch the Shane Warne that he isn’t Jaf proceeded to twirl and bamboozle the KG batsmen.

Meanwhile from the Railway End Rags finished off his spell but not before a bit of fielding gold. Who said lightning doesn’t strike twice, with the ball slapped to point at about 4 mph Ali pounced on the ball as for some reason the KG batsmen decided to take a run, after witnessing the earlier run out surely suicidal. Ali picked up the ball and prepared to unleash the Bilgrami rocket, unfortunately the fuse appeared to be wet and Ali dropped the ball, with the KG batsmen in a quandary the only sensible option appeared to be wait run stop go back wait as Ali once again prepared to unleash that Cobra arm only for him to drop it once again, then loose it in between his legs and then feet. With the KG batsmen in total confusion as to what they should be doing Ali finally picked the ball up on the third time of asking, now I wont say throw, but he managed to get it to Tickles who took the bails off with the KG batsmen still discussing whether to advance or retreat. Cricket was not the winner.
With 10 overs bowled Rags had figures of 10 overs 1 for 15 and was put out to grass.

Taking over from Rags and doubling up with Jaffar, Haimes came back to wreak further havoc in the KG run fest, meanwhile Jaffar had his own problems from the Railway End as he was pinged for a back foot no ball, showing all the control of Mickey Rourke on a full blown bender, Jaf questioned the decision and then explained that in his million years of bowling such a decision was to say the least ridiculous, anyway if you look in the book it doesn’t say ” no ball incorrectly give soz”.

Jaf finished his spell though with fine figures of 7 overs 2 for 46 one of his wickets being a nice twirly affair which allowed Ticks to remove the Bails and Haimes also completed his second spell with another couple of wickets and once again fantastic figures of 9 overs 4 for 26. Brilliant.
KG were all out for 122

Tea was once again a superb affair with a team effort, special thanks to Jalil who must have sweated hours on a fabulous curry, Jaf for the Dominoes Pizzas, Ali for the samosas, Rags for the fruit and Tickles for the cakes, we could have fed the world.

With tea taken it was down to Asad and Pasi to form a solid foundation, which they did, again Pasi did what Pasi does smash the ball harder than a gangland enforcer and Asad caressed the ball, yes I did say that, to all sides of the Meadow.
This fun naturally would not last and with the score on 44 Pasi was pinged LBW for 15.

Taking over from Pasi we had Shazad who got off the mark with a very nice four, followed by another one, meanwhile Asad continued his march to greatness as he looked in fine form, putting all the hard luck balls away from his mind he finally was in the right place at the right time, until Haimes pinged him for LBW for 22, a look of disbelief followed by a dragging of feet meant one could assume he disagreed, but if you look in the book it doesn’t say, “wasnt out really” or maybe that’s what LBW stands for.

Shazad continued his assualt on the KG bowling now ably assisted by Ali. Following his fielding prowess goodness knows what his batting would be like, as it happens it was par for the course, 4, 4, swish miss bowled.

Now following Rupert’s super yips last week he decided to bat rather than bowl and with the Skipper’s instructions ringing in his ears, don’t get out just defend the ball and wait until you are ready to go.

Shazad meanwhile also fell foul of the Walters finger as he was dismissed for 15, this brought Rags to the wicket who in his usual bloody minded approach decided the only way to play this game was with boundaries, this pair put on a total of 34 with Rags contribution being 31, Rupert playing himself in was thinking about the long game. Rags last stand at the crease was a mighty 6, he was then caught.

With Rags gone this gave Wild Ginger his chance to finish KG off, unfortunately after smashing a 4 the effort proved too much and he was caught in the slips.

This then teed it up for Jalil to play his cameo role, he went out there, got a sighter for 1, retained the strike then hit 4, 4 thank you very much game over.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 28th July vs Winchmore Hill

Great Missenden Pelicans 211-6 (Kunaal Kankate 75, Raghu Kankate 58*)   Winchmore Hill 212-8 (Kunaal Kankate 3-28)

LOST by 2 wickets

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

No Match Report

Sunday 21st July vs Iffley Village

Iffley Village 202-6 (Raghu Kankate 3-26)   Great Missenden Pelicans 203-2 (Kunaal Kankate 107*, Hasan Arif 49)

WON by 8 wickets

نہوں نے دیکھا کہ ہم نے فتح کی……… and yes we did.

It was a pleasure to welcome Olie Ross and Iffley back to the Meadow, especially after the slight confusion as to was it a home game or an away game, PG was sure it was away, their match manager sure it was away as well, thankfully two bits of evidence came to light that proved conclusive.

Exhibit A………. An e mail trail confirming the game was indeed to be played at the Meadow
Exhibit B………. Iffley do not have a ground

Following the now customary toss loss the Pelicans were asked to bowl, some call it a toss loss others call it victory, suffice it to say Toobes opened up from the Railway end and Haimes from the Pub end. With the bowling tight the Iffley openers made their intentions known with a combination of wild swishes and placed 4s, offering chances not only with catches but also with the potential of being bowled.

It is fair to say that on another day both Toobes and Haimes could have got the openers out about 10 times each, but the Yorkshire god of cricket was in a particular mood this day and even when the ball was lobbed up to safe hands Arif catches were spilled. With overs being bowled and 4s being taken Skip decided a change of attack was needed, this particularly harsh on Haimes whose figures of 5 overs for 22 runs and countless near misses, but a Skipper’s job is not an easy one.

Taking over from the Pelican openers we had Amir from the Railway end and Rags from the pub end. First over from Rags first wicket to fall, the Iffley number 2 who was caught, a sublime take which showed terrific athletic prowess by somebody, frankly I cant remember who took it or where they were but to have actually held one must have been unbelievable or accidental, lets go with the former.

Coming in from the Railway end Amir steamed in and with all the generosity of a Scotsman with Yorkshire ancestry like Rags reduced the run rate. It is also fair to say that the Pelican catching ability did not improve as Jaffar managed to drop Amir, in fairness it was going about 5 miles an hour straight into his hands, but that was not going to stop the ball finding the earth. Amir took it with good grace or that’s what I took the Urdu mutterings to mean.

Rags continued with his spell and continued to mesmerise the Iffley batsmen, and again the metronome that is Kankate R had another wicket, deciding to dispense with the catching he bowled his man, this was quickly followed in his next over by another wicket, another incredible catch by the Pelicans answer to Jonty Rhodes, again I cant remember who and where they were but it must have been good.

Amir by now had decided to join the wicket taking and finally got his man that Jaffar had managed to drop a bit, my memory is better here, a bit of a dolly to Toobes who managed not to drop it. With muscle memory kicking in it didnt take long for Amir to take wicket number two, this time I can confirm that the catch was an absolute blinder, Amit following and holding onto a ball that was in danger of interfering with incoming planes to Heathrow, brilliant.

Rags finished his spell returning figures of 10 overs 3 for 26, fantastic bowling, Amir similarly finished his spell returning figures of 9 overs 2 for 46 again like Rags a game changing spell.

Taking over from the metronomes of Kankate and Jafri, we had Jaffar from the Railway end and Singh from the Pub end.
It is fair to say that Iffley were pushing the rate on as much as they could but the Pelican bowling was not for giving in as both Jaf and Amit contained what was a run push.

Twirling Jaffar again on another day could have taken a number of wickets, and it is at this point I must mention Ali who delivered one of the best drops I have witnessed at the Meadow. With the ball lobbed up to Ali on the boundary it looked like there would be only one outcome…..another wicket obviously, lets put it this way, the ball ended up going between Ali’s legs and trickling for 4……genius.

Eventually Jaffar took a well deserved wicket, now it says a catch in the book by Kunaal but I thought he took a catch from Rags earlier, anyway another wicket went down and finally Jaffar finished with figures of 6 overs 1 for 53, meanwhile Amit finished with figures of 5 overs for only 20 runs, an excellent spell.

Following said ground mix up there was the slight issue of tea but never let it be said that the Pelicans dont know how to deliver where tea is concerned as a feast of huge proportions was laid out for all to feast upon, indeed it was biblical and thank you to Susan, Haimes, Jalil, Toobes and Amir, especially Amir’s offering which included the Skippers favourite of 3 helpings of home made hummus.

With tea taken Asad and Hasan were sent out to provide a Pelican foundation, and things looked very comfortable indeed as the run rate was adhered to and both Pelicans looked very comfortable, as we all know this usually signifies something bad and on this day the Yorkshire cricket god looked down on Asad and said ‘Have it’. Asad unaware of this heavenly interference had his eyes lighting up as he spun on a slightly uppish ball, he connected beautifully and gave the ball a mighty thumping, deep fine leg stood absolutely still and lifted his hands to his chest, held on and sent Asad back to the clubhouse.

Hasan, the glue to many victories now had Kunaal as a partner and it was not long until he started to take over from asad and find the boundary including a lovely 6, unfortunately the Yorkshire cricket god in a particularly miserable mood saw Hasan on 49 and thought ‘Have it’ and there he was bowled, very very unlucky.

With the run rate rising as Iffley continued to bowl very tightly Kunaal obviously started to feel the after effects of the breakfast of 32 shredded wheat and he started hitting, and then hit some more and then more, Ali his partner could only watch as a new form of Kunaal carnage came to town. I will take you through one over 6…6…6…6…4 (chorus of boos)…1.
It is fair to say there had been murmurings in the clubhouse of not winning but this was soon dispelled as Kunaal swept to a hundred and finished the game with a 6, absolute unbelievable hitting.
A great victory against a lovely team with NO ground

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Monday 15th July vs Northwood

Northwood 248-8 (V Paxel 4-57)   Great Missenden Pelicans 250-5 (Kunaal Kankate 93*, Hasan Arif 64, Asad Rehman 37)

WON by 5 wickets

I think I can only look to 90s pop icon Whigfield for words to sum up this game “Da ba da dan dee dee dee da nee na na na…. be my baby” Shakespear could not have summed it up better.

With victory over Stowe still a recent memory Skip looked to make it 2 out of 2 for our midweek games, has this been done before I am not sure. As ever a Skipper’s job is a difficult one and news that the mighty Abbas was unable to play was a shock, thankfully at the 11th hour Julian Swain stepped in to provide excellent cover for the big fellow.

For once some thought had gone into the bat bowl conundrum the team looked very batty and not very bowly, confident that any total could be chased down the decision to bowl was an easy one, naturally this elicited the same response from the Pelicans once they are told of such a choice, joy and happiness or that’s how Skip took it.

Opening the bowling for the Pelicans we had Toobes and Hasan, with Toobes bowling relatively tightly it was down to Hasan to claim the first wicket in his second over, a nice ball that cut back and bowled the Northwood opener, an excellent start.
Toobes continued his opening spell and after 7 overs like an old pit pony ready for the glue factory, with a severe limp and cyanotic heart disease was put out to grass and Vish brought in.

Hasan continued his initial spell of 10 overs kept the run rate down but did not winkle out any more Northwood batsmen.

The Northwood number 2 and 3 were looking pretty settled but with Vish now joined by Kunaal the run rate started to become somewhat static as maiden followed maiden indeed over a period of 12 overs Northwood could only manage 17 runs.

Finally with Vish in his 8th over a breakthrough occurred as Bat number 2 was bowled trying to speed the pace on a bit, he was soon followed by the Northwood number 4 a fine catch from Jules. With Northwood trying to push the pace on it didn’t take long for their number 3 bat who had been looking increasingly comfortable and set for a century to finally make a mistake, as pushed his bat forward to Vish an edge dollied up to Mr Safe Hands Asad in the third slip position, unfortunately Mr Safe Hands seemed to have departed the field of play and was being substituted by Mr Soapy eel hands who naturally dropped said dolly, thankfully didn’t prove too expensive as shortly after the Northwood number 4 was caught at mid on by Toobes.

With Asad now in full teenager strop mood in his mind he spotted a potential run out at the non striker’s end, as for the rest of us we were wandering back to our fielding positions, anyway defying his shoulder injury which he hardly ever mentions a ball flew towards the wickets and straight past and finally came to a standstill about 3 feet past the boundary under a hedge.
Wickets were now starting to fall as Vish continued with his marathon bowling spell finally finishing with 19 overs 4 for 57, it has to be said that his 19th over looked as good as his first, a truly magnificent run.

Kunaal meanwhile finally was rewarded for all his hard work as JG caught the Northwood Skipper for 0 and finished with figures of 16 overs 1 for 48, again fantastic.

It was during this spell that our own Captain America Tony Harris demonstrated what the British Army is made of and indeed now is missing, as a run out appeal was turned down and resulted in a tantrum of the highest order as gloves were thrown down and a voice slightly higher in pitch of an under 5 girls birthday party shouted “WTF” Silence erupted on the field as Pelicans looked at each other and a sheepish Tony apologised and made his way back to his position. Regarding the run out was it marginal………… My backside it was he was out by flipping miles, something even Stevie Wonder would have seen.

With Hasan brought back into the attack to join Raheel the Northwood innings was coming to a close, there was still time for a Raheel wicket as he bowled the Northwood number 5 who was on 41 runs, with 60 overs bowled Northwood finally declared having set a total of 248. Hasan returned bowling figures of 14 overs 1 for 66 and Raheel 4 overs 1 for 27, the recipient of the Northwood number 10 bat who for reasons unknown batted at number 10.

As for the fielding generally a fine affair with few dropped catches though Adam at first slip appeared to be the brother of Mr Soapy eel hands.

With a modest total set Skip sat back, looked at his fine array of batting and expected an early supper.

Asad and Raheel were the two opening big guns for the Pelicans, as we all know a solid base is such an advantage in these games so it came as no surprise to see Raheel trudging back to the clubhouse for 1, not a problem thought Skip as he saw Julian heading to the wicket, 17 runs later he saw Julian heading back to the clubhouse shortly followed by Asad on 37 and Flouncy MacFlounce Flounce himself Tony Harris on 2. This was not in the script.

It required a calm head to knuckle down and start building a total, which thankfully the Pelicans had in the shape of Hasan, he was joined by Kunaal who brought that Kankate style which basically is boundaries.

With the score initially on 63 these two mighty Pelicans started to take control of the game and nurdled, bludgeoned sprinted there was to build a great partnership which only came to an end in the 53rd over with the Pelican score on 226. It was Hasan who went for another mighty 6 but unfortunately this time it just didn’t quite make it and he was caught for a fantastic 64.

With Northwood scenting the possibility of saving themselves from defeat their joy was soon turned to abject despair as non other than Ex Skip Alex Livie replaced Hasan with 5 overs to go and 23 needed for victory. Carrying the form of Don Bradman himself and coming off a not out 136 against LCR Harrow the day before, ex Skip immediately announced his presence with a sumptuous cover drive for 4.

Kunaal continued where he and Hasan had left off and smashed another 4 and ran the quick singles finally bringing the game home with Ex Skip Livie.

Kunaal finished on 93 and Alex 15.

What a performance, what a victory, drinks were taken at the clubhouse actually the only thing Adam didn’t spill.

I thank you.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 14th July vs LCR Harrow

Great Missenden Pelicans 283-2 (Alex Livie 136*, Amit Singh 58)   LCR Harrow 232 (Jaffar 5-58)

WON by 49 runs

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

No Match Report

Sunday 7th July vs The Lee

The Lee 255-7 (Adam Fairweather 4-23)   Great Missenden Pelicans 226-9 (Asad Rehman 79, Tony Harris 42, Raheel Khan 35)

LOST by 29 runs

(No match report, the following is The Lee’s account of the match.) Adversaries for many years, the Pelicans landed at Manor Park with high hopes. The toss was won by The Lee, and after a nanosecond of thought, the decision was to bat. On an easy paced pitch, Henry Quinn, with an out of tune […]

(No match report, the following is The Lee’s account of the match.)

Adversaries for many years, the Pelicans landed at Manor Park with high hopes. The toss was won by The Lee, and after a nanosecond of thought, the decision was to bat. On an easy paced pitch, Henry Quinn, with an out of tune bat, and Mike Cooper got us off to a watchful start, and 40 runs. Mike nibbled at Richard Frank, and was snapped up behind by Tony Harris. This brought in Jules Swain, an occasional guest player for the Pelicans, and he and Henry got us to 70 before Henry fell to good one. This brought another guest player to the crease; a guest from the Misfits, who looked remarkably like a guy who used to play for us… He’d heard how much better our wicket is, and proceeded to have an extended net, practising the boring forward defensive we can all look forward to next week… Jules kept the run-rate up, but when he fell in uncharacteristically tame fashion, stumped playing a nothing shot, the Pelicans tightened up. Walters bowled an excellent spell of accurate seam, removing yesterday’s hero Walsh with a good one. A breezy injection of runs came from the skipper, rolling back the years with some elegant strokes and 2 hefty 6s into the park. Jonny Bellwood continued his ‘solid’ effort, and we scraped up to 255. Probably below par, but a decent total.

After an excellent tea, presented by York and Mel, we prised ourselves away from the table, and began the Pelicans’ chase. They took to the wing, but flight was a little ponderous. and after 10 overs they reached 42-1. Some hostile stuff from Harry Hutt, backed up by the experience of Ed Boakes, meant that we could open up the game with some opportunities for youngsters. Charlie Line persevered with not much luck, and Rob Walsh backed him up with some tight seam, causing the batsmen considerable inconvenience. Further youthful exuberance came via the ‘spin’ of Guy Morgan, who used variations of flight to keep the runs down. Nonetheless, after 25 overs, Pelicans were well-set on 142-2, and with Assad Rehman poised to accelerate, the game took a dramatic turn. Jon Swain had one of his better day’s bowling, and conned Assad into a rash attempt to hit his 2nd ball into the pavilion. Alas, it only had the legs to reach Walsh, waiting to snaffle the important catch. In 3 telling overs, Swain removed 3 more Pelicans, one via an excellent catch by Harry Hutt, fending off the unwanted attentions of Walsh, who, excited by his catch, thought every other ball in the air was his. The other 2 were bowled by JS’s surprise delivery; the straight one. That caused a hiatus in the run-chase, but Tony Harris hit strongly with Arif to cause one or two alarms, but a Yorkie straight one did for Harris, and a suicidal run-out saw the end of Arif, and that was that. A good win, played in an excellent spirit, with everyone contributing. More fines were imposed on miscreants after the game.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Wednesday 3rd July vs Stowe Templars

Stowe Templars 238-8 (Josh Bailey 3-55)   Great Missenden Pelicans 239-5 (Julian Swain 85*, Asad Rehman 70)

WON by 5 wickets

“Richard Branson, David Niven, Christopher Milne, Henry Cavill, Robert Kee, can you hear me, your boys took one hell of a beating”

The sun, the setting the wicket, this could only be one place, Stowe, and a Pelican team that was focused on the job in hand ie not look stupid.

With the toss won and Stowe put into bat much to the joy of the Pelicans there was a familiarity to the opening partnership of Toobes and Josh, in all honesty Toobes had never been allowed to open before but with a limited attack very old and youth was employed.

Concerns of dismantling the older Toobes were dispelled as a very economical spell of 6 overs were delivered for 12 runs and one wicket, it was the Stowe opener who fell to Toobes rapid pace, at times clocking 30kph a fine delivery that caught the bat LBW, indeed he had managed to withstand an earlier appeal,but this time the Umpire’s finger was raised and the opener was dispatched to the clubhouse.

Josh meanwhile returning from injury (now don’t get me on this soapbox of the youth of today being injured) he was soon ramping up the speed to what is called Pelican tasty. It didn’t take long for him to remove the other Stowe opener from a fine ball that was caught by our new wicket keeper Julian Swain.

With Toobes’ stamina rapidly running out Skip felt it was time to bring on the Vish, and what a change it turned to be as in no time he had bowled the Stowe number three bat and then finally removed the number 4 bat, a fine catch by Ali and a batsman who had started scoring rather freely.

It was during Vishal’s spell that Josh was finally put out to grass and Kunaal brought in to replace him. Again another inspired change by Skip that immediately yielded a wicket as the Stowe number 5 was clean bowled by the now renamed Kunaal Kankakee (issues with the score board).

With Stowe starting to look vulnerable the Pelicans were ready to go in for the kill, unfortunately having played Stowe many times we are well aware that it is at this point that some batsman will come in in start carting us about.

Today was no different as thew Stowe skipper came into bat and with quick singles and some lofty blows showed his intention from the start.

With Vishal taken off after a great spell of 11 overs 2 for 39 and likewise Kunaal taken off for a well earned rest, the bowling cudgels were taken up by Nick Saunders and Alex Hill.

Unfortunately for them both, this was the same time that the Stowe skipper decided to unleash his own form of hell as he started pushing the score ever on and up.

It is at times like these that the Stowe cricket field becomes a very big field indeed, but the Pelicans kept to the task.
With the score reaching the 200s Skip then brought Toobes on to stem the run, unfortunately rather than Imodium, Toobes was more Senapod as the flow became a torrent and the first and last over went for 19. Josh meanwhile had already been brought back into the attack and immediately made inroads to the Stowe attack bowling first their number 7 followed by their number 8.
Toobes if he had been a horse would now be Bostik, consequently Kunaal was reintroduced to the Stowe batsmen and did what Toobes spectacularly failed to do which was stem the runs and get wickets, Kunaal did both as he bowled the number 9 Stowe bat.
Meanwhile looking for his hundred the Stowe skipper kept going as the declaration pushed further back to accommodate this. Finally after 51.5 overs the Stowe skipper achieved his hundred and declared with Stowe on 238.

Kunaal finished with 10 over 2 for 21 and Josh 12.5 overs 3 for 55, in all honesty a great Pelican effort from all the team.

With time the Pelican enemy there was a quick turnaround for Asad and Clive as they made their way out to open.
Clive as ever taking his time to get the measure of both the wicket Asad as ever looking the moody stroppy teenager intent on doing damage.

Now if I am to ask anybody how they would expect Clive to be out I suspect everybody will know the answer, so it came as no surprise to report with 13 on the board Clive was pinged LBW.

Asad now joined by Abbas, that isn’t plural for the 70’s Swedish Eurovision winners oh no that is our own big hitting Mr Ilyas who with Asad now seeing the ball like a hot air balloon started to make some serious inroads into the Stowe total. Unfortunately as you all know when things are looking good being a Pelican they soon don’t and this was no different as Abs had soon feathered one to the wicket keeper having made 20 runs.

With plenty of batting still to come Asad now had the pleasure of the company of Jules, youth accompanied with youth.
There is not much I can say other than these two mighty warriors then took the game to Stowe, running quick singles and firing 4s at will, it is fair to say the wicket is not the batsman’s paradise it once was but these two started to tame the Stowe giant. Naturally we must have one comedic moment as concentration dips and this innings was no different as in one over Jules was firstly dropped, now this was not a difficult catch in fact a dolly would give it a degree of difficulty that just wasn’t there, if this let off wasn’t bad enough some comedic running then left Jules in the middle of the wicket, for some reason the Stowe wicket keeper who had run out to retrieve the ball decided not to trust his arm from about 8 feet and for some reason found himself on the floor at the base of the stumps still holding the ball with Julian home and dry, to compound matters a lofty smash from Jules was then missed and with his feet being a good 2 foot out of the crease so was the stumping.

With the partnership continuing Asad finally succumbed LBW after making a fantastic 70 runs, Skip then sent Vishal out whilst he went for a quick wee. Skip having had said quick wee was surprised to find that Vish had not actually gone out to bat or that’s what Skip thought. What actually happened was that in that very quick wee stop Vish had indeed gone out, had then been caught and came back to the same position on the bench he had just vacated, all in the blink of an eye.

With Kunaal now partnering Jules and barely 8 overs left and 70 runs required something special would be required and with Jules and Kunaal at the crease it was delivered as both Peli bats took the attack to the Stowe bowlers, Kunaal launched a massive 6 straight over the bowlers head and Jules just kept on slapping 4 after 4.

With Kunaal in high spirits he went for another 6 but unfortunately a great take on the boundary sealed his fate on 30 runs.
Now you’re chasing 16 with two overs to go, who is the best Peli to partner Jules, yes its Ali, because as we all know Ali will give you a quick slapped 20 and then will get himself out, so with the scores tied and one ball left Ali was on strike. It was never in doubt as he hit the winning run.

What a great run chase and all done with 7.5 overs less than Stowe.

Jules returned to the clubhouse with a magnificent 85 not out as truly excellent innings, and Ali a winning 7 not out………fantastic.

What a game

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 30th June vs Roving Reporters

Great Missenden Pelicans 221-7 (Raghu Kankate 99)   Roving Reporters 223-3

LOST by 7 wickets

Man of the Match: Rags

With Yorkies in their top pockets, the Sun newspaper on the dashboard and some rolled carpet and a claw hammer Toobes and Nico finally delivered the practice net to the hallowed ground in time for the visitation of the Roving Reporters.

With the sun shining Toobes welcomed Kunaal back, he also welcomed a new player Amit, who immediately looked impressive as it was obvious he was under the age of 50.

Strolling out to the wicket Toobes won the toss and bizarrely elected to bat, no real reason but he did.

Opening for the Pelicans we had the ever reliable Raheel and the returnee Kunaal, it wasn’t long before Kunaal continued where he left off last season whipping 4s to the boundary with ease. Raheel’s slightly more conservative approach also found the boundary but just not as often. Unfortunately with our two openers looking an ideal partnership disaster is never far away and it came in the form of Raheel missing a straight one, most unfortunate but with the score on 33 for 1 the Skipper didn’t look unduly concerned especially as Kunaal was now joined by debutant Amit who immediately announced himself with a 4, which was then followed up by a mighty 6. The Skipper rocked back in his chair happy to watch the carnage that was to follow.

Those who know the Pelicans know that from comfort one must then endure discomfort and so it came to pass as Kunaal was then caught behind for 28 and Ali looking once again totally comfortable got hold of the ball and slapped it straight into mid on’s hands 53 for 3 soon became 64 for 4 as Amit looking a class bat was bowled by the loopy opener for 25. This brought the partnership of Rags and Niron.

This was one of those days when Rags was up for it and in his usual style of no running began to cart the Rovers bowlers to all four corners of the circular ground, Niron making the perfect bridesmaid just let him get on with it, until on 86 he too succumbed and was bowled.

A new bridesmaid was required and they don’t come any more demure and coy than the Skipper who made his way out to the wicket, received no instructions from Rags and proceeded to block the over out.

There then followed a display of utter carnage from Kankate senior who decided to show Kankate junior how it should be done. With the Skipper resting on his bat, Rags single handedly smashed the leather off the ball and started posting a more respectable score as the hundred was passed followed by 150 and with 13 fours and 5 sixes under his belt finally fell on 99, an unbelievable innings.

With the score now on 195 Skip was joined by Nico, the only instruction being “lets get past 200″. That was never in doubt as this plucky Kiwi dinked 2 quick fours before departing the field of dreams, with Andrew joining the Skipper in what was his last game for the Pelicans before moving to Cornwall the game finally came to an end with the Pelicans on a very respectable 221.

Tea was a truly majestic affair as Niron put on a spread fit for a Caribbean king, the chicken being particularly spicy soon had both teams purring with delight.

Unfortunately all good things come to an end and so it was that in no time at all the Roving Reporters took to the crease facing Toobes and Andrew. Unfortunately slow medium seemed to be just the post tea desert the openers required as runs were plundered off Andrew and particularly Toobes, after 4 overs apiece it was time for a change, enter Raheel and the metronome that is Rags.

This produced the required result which was a slowing down of the run rate though still the openers continued to find the boundary and both went past 50.

It was finally Raheel that broke the partnership with a fine ball that bowled the RR number one, this was followed quickly by a great catch on the boundary by Kunaal off Raheel’s bowling. The Pelicans sensed the possibility of victory, unfortunately the 3 and 4 bats for RR were equally up to the task and continued on taking 4s where they could.

Finally Rags and Raheel were rested both having bowled fantastically and kept the run rate down, they were replaced by Kunaal and Nico with 70 needed off the last 10 overs it was going to be close.

Nico having been brought on at the Railway end explained to Skip that there was some issue with it that was affecting his bowling and required him to change ends, Skip duly swapped Kunaal and Nico around still none the wiser as to why but the upshot was that Nico’s bowling remained just the same only this time he required a hat to keep the sun out of his eyes as he was having difficulty seeing anything.

Kunaal meanwhile prior to the end switch took his first wicket of the year an lbw.

Meanwhile the run chase continued and finally the Roving Reporters claimed victory with only 10 balls to spare.

A great effort by the Pelicans, great to see Kunaal back and Amit joining us.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday June 23rd vs West Wycombe

Great Missenden Pelicans 125   West Wycombe 131-3

LOST by 7 wickets

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

No Match Report

Sunday June 9th vs Long Marston

Long Marston 192 (Amir 4-21)   Great Missenden Pelicans 83-2 (Raheel Khan 30*)

Match DRAWN

Man of the Match: Amir

On a wicket that looked league class the Pelicans gathered at Long Marston ready to do battle in the sunshine of a British summer’s afternoon. With Nico falling foul to some sickness bug undoubtedly caused by not washing his hands the Pelicans welcomed a new member namely Amir, along with Jaffar who decided to play again the average age pushed more towards grave than cradle.

With the toss duly lost the Pelicans were put into bat, of course we weren’t, who would do that?

Opening the bowling for the Pelicans we had the old warhorse that is Toobes, and making a welcome return the young clotheshorse that is Hasan. On a wicket that had regularly been described as a batters’ paradise the Pelican openers made the Long Marston openers work for their supper, and indeed it was not long before Toobes took his first wicket, bowling the number two bat. Hasan continued to plug away but without much success and after their initial spell Long Marston had pushed the score onto 53 for 2, another wicket going to Toobes a fine catch by Asad behind the wickets.

Taking over from Toobes, Andrew stepped forward and after a couple of sighting overs found his mark and took his first wicket, a fine catch from the Pelicans answer to Jonty Rhodes non other than Jalil himself, who on eventually realising the ball was coming his way at a rate of knots tipped the ball up and caught it on the second attempt. A good wicket to take as the Long Marston bat had looked useful and rapidly got into the 20s.

Meanwhile from the other end and bowling for the Pelicans for the first time was Jaffar, mesmerising the Long Marston batsmen the runs suddenly started drying up and Skip thought may be a chase of 250 started looking not to bad.

Meanwhile Andrew who was now bowling line and length took his next wicket as he bowled the LM number 5 bat, his spell came to an end with a very useful 2 for 32 0ff 5 overs, meanwhile Jaffar continued taunting the LM bats and finished his 8 overs with 35 runs taken an excellent spell and one that was well needed.

Following Andrew was Raheel who proved even more miserly as his first 4 overs went for only 8 runs, but more importantly took the wicket of the LM number 3 bat who had pushed onto 52. Following Jaffar was our new Pelican Amir who in his first over removed the LM number 8 bat. Meanwhile at the other end Raheel continued his mean streak and claimed his second wicket if memory serves me right a catch by Hasan, with his spell coming to an end Raheel posted fine bowling figures of 2 for 32 off 8 overs, a great effort.

Amir meanwhile got into his stride and not only had the LM batsmen on their toes but also Ali at square leg as a number of balls darted straight to him, this seemed to bamboozle the LM batsmen as Amir ran through the remaining LM team and posted stats of 4 overs 4 for 21 a truly fantastic spell.

One thing to be said during this spell was what a welcome sight it was to see Clive back on the field, contributing in every way, including dropping an absolute dolly……nice.

Tea was taken with the LM finally posting 192, a bit of a result on that wicket and how quickly they had started their scoring.

With tea taken it was time for the Pelicans to chase down the required runs, and opening was as ever Asad and Raheel, Clive this time playing the bridesmaid.

It’s fair to say that runs were hard to come by as the bowling was tight which means as ever at some point Asad is going to swish his bat like a petulant teenager, this duly happened but thankfully the ball missed his wickets. This seemed to calm down our young gun who then started batting properly, aided as ever by Raheel who is always going to play his fine array of shots the scoreboard did indeed start moving on, as the boundary came into play.

Unfortunately as ever with the Pelicans when things look good it is a precursor for things going bad and this time Asad swished at a ball and was duly caught. Clive deciding to make amends for the dropped sitter strode out to the wicket and was caught for one.

Ali now joined Raheel and a sense of calm ensued, well it does when Raheel was facing, with Ali well anything can happen, and soon he was taking aim at the boundary.

Unfortunately with 19 overs bowled and 83 runs on the board the rain made an appearance and finished the game, Hasan announced that according to Duckworth Lewis it would be a Pelican victory if we could get one over in but with the rain now falling stronger than ever that definitely looked unlikely, Match abandoned and drawn.

Overall a great wicket and lovely ground and a great effort by the Pelicans especially Jaffar and Amir, moment of the day Raheel creaming the LM number 3 bowler for 4 straight past Mid On, sumptuous.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday June 2nd vs Lord Gnomes

Lord Gnomes 250-7 (Richard Frank 3-14, John Greenwood 3-44)   Great Missenden Pelicans 222-5 (Asad Rehman 86, Harry Kendall 43, Ali Bigrami 36*)

Match DRAWN

With the sun shining brightly the Pelicans gathered to do battle against the old foe that is Lord Gnomes, there was a toss, Skip lost and the Pelicans were asked to bowl, bit of a victory really for Skip.

Opening up from the railway end Toobes chugged in like some old steam engine, a bit rusty a bit noisy and slightly smelly, JG from the pub end similar engine but a bit less on all fronts.

The bowling was very tight as the Gnomes struggled to find the boundary, Toobes constantly polishing, JG constantly polishing looking after, like some precious gem the bright red cherry that was being hurled down at all of 20 kph.

It was not long before the first Gnomes wicket fell, as all that looking after of the ball paid off, this was quickly followed by a second wicket, expertly removed by JG, a swinging dipping moving pearl of a ball that smashed the middle wicket. The Gnomes were rocking as a further two wickets were taken and by the end of this excellent spell from JG and Toobes the Gnomes were on a grand total of 18 for the loss of 4. We were surely in for a quick game. But this is the Pelicans.

Taking over from Toobes, Andrew came into the attack, he was handed the carefully nurtured ball that had proved so beneficial for both Toobes and JG, with strict instructions to keep up the good polishing work, third ball leg side smash, 6 and lost ball. This was followed by a further 3 lost balls that severely depleted the Pelican spares box in a bowling spell that lasted 5 overs and 51 runs to the bad. An unusual occurence but just a bad day at the office.

Partnering Andrew we had Rupert, who was quickly into his groove and first over had the useful Gnomes number 5 caught by Harry, with the Gnomes on 52, there was no need to panic.

It is worth pointing Skip had relented and offered the wicket keeping gloves to soap hands Jeffrey, he had explained that he was very good in goal at saving the ball and the huge wicket keeping gloves would indeed aid things even further. Skip was convinced. Niron was happy.

Taking over from the Gnomes number 5 was the Gnomes number 7, who seemed to relish the Pelican bowling and took to it with a gusto. Skip was looking less happy but with the new Gnomes bat on about 20 Rupert unleashed his effort ball and screamed in delight as the Gnomes bat smashed it straight into Nirons open gloves, unfortunately Niron forgot to close the gloves and there was a general look of disbelief as the ball dropped serenely onto the floor, hopefully it wouldn’t be a costly drop. Rupert continued his spell and finished well a bit unlucky.

With the Gnomes batsmen getting more and more comfortable the run rate accelerated somewhat, it was therefore time to bring out the big guns, namely Adam.Unfortunately this seemed to be right up their street as Adam was slapped to all four corners of the Meadow. It did produce some classic Pelican moments, namely Asad calling for a ball that was Andrew’s, running towards him, stopping then both of them watching as the ball landed 2 feet behind them. Also we had Nico out on the boundary stopping a certain 4 but such was his surprise at stopping the ball he forgot to throw it back for the run out.

That said Adam retired after 5 overs no wickets for 75, truly monumental bowling. From the other end Raheel, showed what he can do and tightened things up eventually bowling 5 overs for 20, a fine performance. JG and Toobes came on for a cameo at the end and returned figures of 3 for 44 off 8 and 3 for 14 off 7 respectively.

The Gnomes though had finished on 250 with the last 14 overs going for 150.

Tea was a fabulous affair provided by Mrs Ali, and highlighted all the reasons why Toobes bowls second.

With tea taken it was up to Asad and Raheel to lead the charge and lead it they did as four followed four and then six followed six. This excellent partnership really attacked the Gnomes bowling and what were confident faces had a few worry lines running across them. In no time Asad had his 50, well actually it would have been quicker had Niron told everybody, but what the heck, the Pelicans duly celebrated Asad’s 50 when he reached 61. Raheel meanwhile for a change played the bridesmaid, but what a beauty she was, as between them they took this opening partnership to 142 when Asad finally fell, bowled to a skidder for 86.

Asad in full flounce mode threw both bat and helmet to the ground just before the clubhouse and once in the clubhouse dispatched the rest of his cricketing equipment. Jalil ever the compassionate father explained very loudly how he would not have played such a stupid shot and indeed probably knocked it for four. This brightened Asad’s mood up no end.

Nico who had been explaining to Skip that he was in a fine vein of form made his way out to the wicket, three balls later he was making his way back away from the wicket.

Enter Ali. Now I don’t think anybody will argue that with Ali you are never sure what you are going to get, today it was Rambo Ali as opposed to last week Tinpan.

With the loss of Raheel, Ali was joined by Harry, yes when Harry met Ali.

There then followed further carnage from the bats of both Harry and Ali as fours and sixes were the order of the day, still chasing an improbable victory, but chasing all the same.

In true fighting form Harry fell on 43 a devastating example of smashing the ball. Niron strolled out to the wicket and somehow managed to get himself stumped, so he strolled back.

It was down to JG to finish the innings for the Pelicans 28 runs short.

A fine game and a fine draw.

The Pelicans retired to the Nags Head where the fines committee were brought back and issued said fines, Adam managing to get into the paper money, a great effort.

Oh and Nirons dropped catch, he added a further 90 runs.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 26th May vs Prince of Wales Marsh

Great Missenden Pelicans 124 (Raheel Khan 67*)   Prince of Wales Marsh 127-7 (Andrew Engelfield 3-27)

LOST by 3 wickets

Man of the Match: Raheel

The might of the Pelicans met in what was ostensibly somebody’s front garden to play cricket on a drizzly day on a wicket that was to say the least, interesting, winning the toss would be crucial, Skip lost the toss and the Pelicans were asked to bat.

Opening for the Pelicans we had Asad and Raheel, as mentioned above the wicket and wet conditions were proving to be somewhat testing with one ball flying past an earlobe and the next running along the floor, add to this a wet outfield and as expected scoring was slow.

Both Asad and Raheel were soon in trouble with balls being offered up to the PoW players and duly dropped, with hands that looked as slippery as an eel covered in grease catching was not going to figure high for the PoW players and so it came to pass as one ball scooted past Asad’s ear and the very next ball did as so many had done and that was to run along the ground and bowl him on 20. Very unlucky.

Raheel meanwhile continued, head down and with a new partner, Harry, 6 quick singles later incredibly Harry was caught, to be replaced by Ali who after two quick singles was trapped again rather unluckily for 2, enter Niron, no quick singles bowled for 0. We needed a steadying force unfortunately Jalil wasn’t that force as he too was dispatched in quick order for 1, Rupert fared slightly better with 3, Rags slapped a 4 and then was bowled, Toobes 7 caught, Andrew 1 not out, Raheel carrying his bat for a quite superb 67. It can not be stressed how difficult the conditions were so for Raheel to hit 67 was a man of the match effort especially with a pink ball the shape of a flying saucer and a final posting of 124 seemed in these conditions to be challenging, as long as they lasted.

Tea was a fine affair with a mixture of ham sandwiches , scotch eggs, and sausage rolls, bad news if you were either a pig or had some anti pork dietary beliefs, suffice to say half the Pelicans ate tea and all the Pelicans hoped for the drizzly conditions to continue.

It was with great joy as the Pelicans took to the field clouds parting and the first rays of sunshine poked through.

Opening for the Pelicans we had Toobes and Englefield, both bowlers in the tail end of challenging conditions proved to be hard work for the PoW openers as appeals and near misses were the order of the day.

Finally the PoW number two having ridden his luck was caught behind by new wicket keeper Harry, now I wouldn’t say he smashed the ball to Harry but the sound was loud enough to be heard in Sexhow, North Yorkshire, standing his ground it took umpire Nico to do the decent thing and finally raise his finger.

With runs hard to come by Rags soon took over from Toobes and in his usual metronomic style had the PoW batsmen pinned down, Andrew meanwhile started to find his line and length and in no time took the first of his 3 wickets. Rags meanwhile took his first wicket bowling out the number 3 bat and eventually finished his allotted 7 overs for 19 runs and 1 wicket, tighter that a crab’s backside with clamps.

Andrew meanwhile had finished his spell posting impressive figures of 5 overs and 3 for 27.

Rupert and Asad took over the honours, Asad once again causing the batsmen serious problems but still the PoW opener was remaining resiliently at the crease looking ever more confident, Rupert found the going a bit tougher but still bowled admirably eventually to be replaced by Toobes who managed to winkle out the PoW Skip a fine catch from our resident first slip Adam, who caught the ball with both hands and his ample cleavage.

A game wouldn’t be a game without an Englefield catch and once again old safe hands was on call, a diving effort to dismiss the PoW number 8.

With the game looking safe for PoW the might of Adam was brought to bear, unfortunately even the mighty Fairweather was unable to remove the PoW opener as he slapped the ball for 4 and victory.

A loss it may have been but a fine performance from the Pelicans and a fine example of a field showing Anglo Saxon farming at its finest as Rigs and Furs were readily visible in the outfield.

Drinks with the opposition were taken in Stoke Mandeville not the hospital but a pub, very enjoyable opposition and very enjoyable game of cricket.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 19th May vs Hyde Heath

Great Missenden Pelicans 192 (Asad Rehman 72)   Hyde Heath 141-8 (Asad Rehamn 4-34)

Match DRAWN

Man of the Match: Asad

With a total of 5 Pelicans available to play by Wednesday it’s fair to say that Skip was somewhat concerned at the ability of this mighty club fielding a team, but cometh the hour cometh the 6 players and by Sunday an array of Pelicans travelled to Hyde Heath seeking revenge for last year’s defeat.

With the toss duly lost Hyde Heath elected to bowl first, making their way out to the wicket the Pelicans answer to the Chuckle brothers, Asad and Hasan prepared to do battle. With the bowling tight both Asad and Hasan kept their heads down picking off the bad balls and defending the good, Skip on viewing such an approach had a slight attack of the vapours sat down and shook his head.

With the constant verbal chatter from a confident HH Asad started opening up and for about 4 overs in true Clive form took the strike at every opportunity, Hasan watched on awaiting his turn for a go.

With the score ticking along nicely and both openers looking comfortable history dictates disaster is around the corner, Skip was therefore ready when Hasan was bowled for 23 for the Pelican collapse, incredibly such negative thoughts proved unfounded as Raheel provided excellent back up to Asad and then started finding the boundary himself.

With both players finding good form an excellent 60 partnership was finally broken when Raheel was caught, Asad in the meantime had notched up another 50 as the HH chatter increased. With the Pelican on 116 Ali made his way out and 10 minutes later made his way back, bowled for 5. Was this to be the Pelicans collapse?

The answer is ‘NO’ as new player and friend of a friend of Jal’s, Azeem stepped forward and announced himself with a 4, and Skip who had recovered from said earlier vapours felt a bit more comfortable, indeed comfortable enough to opine out loud that 180 would be a good score. Such opinions should be voiced in one’s head as first Asad was bowled for an excellent 72 followed by Azeem who was caught going for the boundary once again.

With the score creaking in the 130s Jalil was joined by Rags, now it is fair to say that this pairing are not prone to the quick single and indeed Rags who had no doubt eaten 4 shredded wheat for breakfast decided the order of the day was hit fours, which he did with great alacrity, in-fact one four was so big it was actually a six and in no time at all the score had pushed into the 180s.

Eventually tea was taken with Rags on a game changing 44, Jalil who had stood and watched came in on 6 and the rest of the lower order Pelicans contributed zero.

Total score 192

With the Pelicans preparing for tea Asad was in full moody teenager strop declaring his desire to win the game shall we say quite forcibly, it seems the constant chirruping had fired up young Asad to a whole new level of determination.

With tea taken and Asad behind the stumps Toobes and Andrew opened up the Pelicans bowling, HH similarly batted well hitting the bad ones defending the good, it took a few overs for Andrew to take the first wicket, a fine LBW, Asad as is his wont took his leave immediately into the HH undergrowth to relieve himself, this gave all the payers time to congratulate Andrew, welcome the new batsman and shout to Asad wether he was indeed needing some toilet paper.

With Toobes’ 6 overs bowled it was decided to bring Asad into the attack who let me say was itching to get going and for Toobes to take over wicket keeping duties. Naturally he ran off into the dressing room for his bowling top and also to bring Toobes his box, obviously Asad’s junior box was insufficient.

With another over from Andrew he was rested having bowled an excellent 7 overs 1 for 30, even more impressive having been smacked for 11 off his first over.

Taking over from Andrew and at the opposite end to Asad we had Mr Metronome himself Rags.

With HH going for the victory HH decided to attack the bowling and fair play to them the Pelicans had a small amount of concern as twice in one over Asad was belted to 6, both fairly mighty hits. Such an approach leads to a quick victory or a fall of wickets and thankfully for the Pelicans it was the latter as Asad had his man with a fine ball that cut back in and removed his off bail. To say Asad celebrated would be a slight understatement, let’s say he was happy.

As regularly happens two follows one and the number three HH batsman was soon following his opener having been run out.
Soon wickets were falling from both ends as Rags bowled a lovely ball that had the HH bat fishing and into Asad’s hands at second slip it went. Similarly the catching machine that is Andrew was on his usual fine form taking two catches at mid off. Hasan who came in for Rags was not to be outdone taking the HH skipper middle stump out first ball, with an in-swinging wonder ball.

With the Heath battening down the hatches the last few overs were primarily blocks and the game ended in a draw as the Heath posted a reply of 141 for 8, even the watching shouty crowd were quiet this year.

A great effort and a fun game. All aboard for the Prince of Wales Marsh

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday May 12th vs Ibstone

Great Missenden Pelicans 184-7 (Asad Rehman 108*)   Ibstone 147

WON by 37 runs

Man of the Match: Asad

Ibstone should be called Ibstones as there are two actual stones and at least two concrete bins which could be misidentified as stones.

It was warm, deer gambolled on the adjacent common land and aircraft looped the loop in celebration of a fine English spring afternoon.

If the setting wasn’t enough Skip added to the arcadian pleasantness by deciding to bat.

JG and Asad opened up on sticky wicket in which the ball stopped, described by Asad like it might in fudge. A tricky start with JG departing early brought Ali H to the wicket. Some good drives, both on and off were brought to an end by a straight ball and an Ali swish.

During this passage of play our clumpire decided he would use his training to remind the opposition about the multiple beamer law. This was wrong on several counts, firstly the law states it is after 2 full tosses the bowler should be replaced, this was the third and secondly maybe Sunday cricket requires a little less exactitude.

Niron strode to the wicket and languidly manoeuvred the ball around with Asad keeping on keeping on. Niron played a flick off his pads, a shot he plays with a certain flair but unfortunately was taken with a fine catch by one of the Ibstone youngsters.

New Peli Rupert upped the tempo with some decent shots and running. Undone by the ball sticking in the wicket a promising innings came to an end.

Next to the wicket was the Pelis Kolpak. Expecting some grief from the opposition skipper after being a jobsworth about the full tosses Nic wasn’t really around long enough to attract any ire (the Ibstone skipper is better than that in any case). One cheeky leg glance for a single brought Asad on to face. A firm drive to the fielder, a call of yes, a burst out of the blocks by Nico and some proper pumping of the pistons left him short by a whisker. As it was Asad’s call and he was the senior batsman Nic was quite correct to run, thing is he didn’t. Out by miles.

Runs continued to flow from Asad when he was joined by Has. The correct shots, the quick running put a bit of impetus into the innings and when Has skied one to the long on fielder the Pelis were building to a competitive total.

Tony announced his arrival at the crease with an attempted swish and proceeded to play shots all round the ground. Some quick singles left the spectators hoping Tony would make the crease intact. But like his team mate before Tony was Asad’s second victim. Another shot, another call, another crestfallen Peli. Asad is either in the pocket of Ibstone or realising in a bowler heavy 11 he wouldn’t get a bowl and opted to take a couple of wickets in this fashion. Tony, like Nic before him was very understanding and magnanimous about the whole episode. (Possible name change the Great Missenden Magnanimists?)

Toobes joined Asad to see him through to a fine 100, Pelis finished on 184 for 7.

The tea was bang on. Lovely fresh sarnies followed by a rocky road slice with Crunchie bar in it. This was a real stonking dessert, rivalling the ginger crunch of the Peli tea.

With the unusual sensation of bowling after scoff the opening bowlers were miserly. Toobes’ first 4 overs going for 7, his 5th for 12. However at the other end Andrew ‘Saturday Night’ Wigfield bowled an immaculate line and length and when joined by Jaime the runs dried up like that bean bag in the window of the house opposite. We went to drinks with Ibstone on 50 odd for 2.

Rupert followed his strong batting with some very good bowling taking 2 wickets on a solid debut. His two full bungers put our clumpire in a bit of a bind and unable to help himself suggested to the Ibstone umpire “one more and he’s off” to which he replied ‘we don’t bother with that’. The poor day for our Kiwi just kept on trucking.

A double bowling change brought the Nironotwirler and Nic onto bowl. Nic set a field, Skip changed it, ‘don’t set fields for rubbish bowling’. This I think is some kind of Yorkshire mantra, a previous incumbent of the Pelis leadership used to say the same thing. But if the bowler is rubbish ergo you’ve set a field for rubbish bowling. Nic full tossed from the Common End, Niron twirled away from the other. The young Ibstone opener who had grafted for a well compiled 46 drove the ball back at Nic who proceeded to shell it like an oyster at a Hugh Hefner dinner. Next ball he slapped a four to get to 50.

Then Flounce McFlouncington reared his ugly head, Tony asked Nic if he was upset about the level of self sledging he had been subject to. His reply was of course not, he was upset that he was just a bit sh*t. One relief, he didn’t have to suffer this scenario:

Kids – “How was your game?”
Nic – “Was a jobsworth about the laws pertaining to full tosses, run out for 1, 2 misfields, dropped catch off my own bowling”

Tight bowling from JG and Has got us over the line by 37 runs.

A good game, nice weather, spot-on tea.

Man of the Match: Asad (as much as it pains me)

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 5th May vs Holmer Green

Holmer Green 107 (Richard Frank 4-6, Nic Vanderpeet 3-35)   Great Missenden Pelicans 108-7 (Asad Rehman 46)

WON by 3 wickets

Man of the Match: Asad

So what follows L, L, …..No not “Cool J” you 1980s rapping trivia ninny, its W, W of course.

And so after the two practice games the Pelicans dispatched Braywood with some fine bowling from Adam whose lofty straight lobs bamboozled the Braywood lower order as he returned figures of 5 for 16 off 6 overs, and excellent batting from Asad, 67 not out and JG who hit a classy return to form 23 not out.

With the Pelicans in traveling mode Homer Green welcomed this band of itinerants, Skip duly elected to bowl first and the game was on.

Joining the Pelicans for their second outing we welcomed Raheel and Zarar, two excellent new members who can actually play as well.

Opening the Pelican bowling we had the ever usual pairing of Toobes and Rags, to say a crabs backside looked slack in comparison would be an understatement as Rags delivered 7 overs on the spot for 17 runs and two wickets, unbelievably Toobes delivered 4 overs for 5 runs and one wicket, Holmer Green looked to be there for the taking so it was decided to bring in the big guns namely Nico and Adam.

Nico after an opening over loosener soon found his stride and in no time had the Holmer Green middle order in all sorts of trouble as after 5 overs he had burgled 3 wickets and been hit for a miserly 12 runs, unfortunately the next two overs Nico has hit for 23 runs, but no worries the damage had been done.

Partnering Nico we had the mighty Adam who was looking to repeat his epic wicket haul from the week previous, lightning can strike twice but not this week as his twirling lobs were dispatched to the ropes and a four over spell yielded 40 runs.

It’s fair to say that with the scoreboard edging close to 100 the Pelicans were starting to get a bit itchy, thankfully Zarar (who handed over wicket keeping duties to Harry) and Toobes brought some bowling order back for the Pelicans as the remaining Holmer Green batsmen were dispatched for a total of 107 runs, not the highest of scores but one which would trouble the Pelicans early season.

With tea taken, the Pelicans settled in for what would be a straightforward walk for our two openers, Asad and Raheel, obviously this is the Pelicans and the idea of a comfortable victory is not in our vocabulary as Raheel after hitting a lovely looking 4 was dispatched by a ball which quite frankly would have done most of us.

Joining Asad Ali made his way to the middle and in true Ali style was soon into his groove and in true Ali style was soon out of his groove as he lobbed a simple catch to the Holmer Green skipper.

Niron duly took his place and brought some order to the batting as he remained in place and allowed Asad to start to build a score, unfortunately after hitting a sumptuous 4 off his toes Niron was bowled and trudged his way back to the clubhouse.

With Skip looking a bit anxious Harry duly took his place alongside Asad, thank goodness for a bit of Yorkshire grit. Harry stood his ground and again Asad took the scoring on, the partnership looked comfortable until Harry took a couple of wild swipes, Skip sent out the universal hand signage to slow down be careful, which Nico as Umpire took to mean get a move on, with that message duly imparted Harry was bowled.

Skip’s mood didn’t lighten as Jalil and Rags between them amassed 4 runs, but never fear Zarar is here. Bringing some energy and sheer bloody minded hitting to the crease he provided the perfect back up to Asad, this generally means a wicket is about to fall, and fall it did as Asad on a match saving 46 finally succumbed, with Toobes playing the bridesmaid to Zarar’s bride the game was wrapped up and the Pelicans toasted a close victory.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 28th April vs Braywood CC

Braywood 113 (Adam Fairweather 6-15, Andrew Englefield 3-27)   Great Missenden Pelicans 115-2 (Asad Rehman 67*)

WON by 8 wickets

Man of the Match: Adam Fairweather

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

No Match Report

Monday 22nd April vs Nomads

Nomads 201   Great Missenden Pelicans 69 (Ali Bilgrami 40)

LOST by 132 runs

Man of the Match: Ali

With the sun blazing the Pelicans welcomed the Nomads to the Field Of Dreams for their second “practice match” of the season, with the toss won it came as no surprise to the awaiting Pelicans that bowling first was the only choice.

Opening up from the railway end Toobes steamed in and in no time was laying down his 20mph rockets. Such devastating fire soon yielded his first wicket a fine catch in the gulley from non other than Andrew Englefield that new Pelican catching machine.

As if that wasn’t enough Andrew then opened the bowling from the Nags End and was again soon into his stride after he had been dispatched for a couple of mighty sixes.

Things looked to be getting a bit tasty as the Nomads number 2 decided six was the better form of defence, unfortunately having launched Toobes towards the railway line a slight misjudgement meant that the ball still with a light dusting of snow on it landed right on top of Asad, a fine catch indeed.

With the Pelican openers put out to grass Tickles took over from Toobes and the metronome that is Rags replaced Andrew.

With a truly unique variety of balls Tickles soon had his man, the book will say LBW but for those that were not there, Ticks steamed in and launched his exocet, unfortunately there wasn’t much rocket fuel and the ball looped high into the blue sky landing more on the Nomad somewhere round his box area as he had unleashed his body on what was meant to be something a bit faster and lower.

With 4 overs bowled Ticks was put out to grass to be replaced by Asad as Rags continued his metronomic bowling.

As is expected with these two Pelicans runs dried up and wickets fell, eventually Rags finished his 8 overs with only 30 runs taken off him, Asad in his own style ripped through the Nomad middle order returning excellent figures of 8 overs 3 for 17.
As the innings was drawing to a close it was time to bring out the big guns namely a return of Andrew and Adam the biggest gun of them all.

Andrew soon got into the stride of things and finally had his wicket a nice catch by non other than Ali, meanwhile Adam in his own style bowled his mighty bombs, unfortunately quite a few of these seemed to find their way down the leg side as Adam combined twirling guile with mighty wides, suffice it to say such a random approach soon yielded the expected result as the number 8 batsman was caught by Rags.

It was during this spell that not only did Tony earn his match fee with his acrobatic leg side stops but Sumit with all the confidence of Mitchell Johnson requested an over.

Such was the enthusiasm Skip had no choice but to comply and await the confident carnage that was about to follow.

It has to be said that what followed was not exactly the carnage that Skip or I think anybody else expected.

Coming in for his first ball was a bit of a marker sliding wide down the leg side, but hey we have all done that, the second ball was on the money, what then happened after that gets a little harder to explain……walking back to mark… perfect…… run up….. perfect… then wham right in the kisser an arm more bent than than a banana with scoliosis. With mouth wide open in disbelief Skip hoped nobody had seen the action, unfortunately that was a forlorn wish as even Stevie Wonder could have worked out the issue.

So next ball walk back…. perfect… run up…. perfect, wham another ball with an action that Babe Ruth would have wished for, the mayhem that ensued panicked the Nomads into running which was foolish and the Nomad 10 was run out. Trying to hide in an open field whilst dressed head to toe in white is difficult but Skip tried….and failed. With ever vocal murmurings from the Nomad batsman something amazingly to do with chucking Sumit unmoved returned to his mark with a perfect saunter only to perfectly run in and unleash another ball from an arm more crooked than Al Capone, again panic ensued in the Nomads lower order as a run was taken only for one of the Nomads to walk to the middle of the wicket complaining about chucking and no balls whilst Asad flamboyantly removed the bails. Its fair to say for a short while all hell broke out with claim and counter claim, accusation and recrimination.

Sumit did indeed produce carnage, whilst Skip had some sympathy for the Nomads, this soon dissipated once the complaining increased especially as they had posted a rather tasty 201.

To bring things back to some form of calmness tea this week came from the fabulous hands of Mrs Rehman who provided a feast for the Nomads and Pelicans to tuck into, Jalil tried to take some of the credit but as we know the kitchen is a part of the house Jalil never ventures into, we saw through his lies.

With tea enjoyed it was time to start that famous Pelican fight back, you know the one where we collapse.

Indeed the Pelicans did not fail to deliver as Asad wafted at a ball and was dismissed by the wicket keeper for 5, quickly followed by Niron for 0, oh how the mighty fall, followed by Hasan for 13. Ali on the other hand is made of sterner stuff and played his natural game against a couple of openers who to give credit where it is due were pretty good. He was joined by Sumit who with his whole family watching and having thrown quite literally his bombs into the game earlier took his guard and was bowled. His son a young fellow actually questioned his father’s abilities on returning to the clubhouse.

The wickets continued to fall Ticks 2 Tony 1, but Ali held on until after hitting a quite superb 40 he was out LBW, the game rapidly came to an end as Rags waas out for 2, Toobes 2 and Andrew 4 leaving Adam still standing, with the Pelicans all out for 69.

We can only go one way.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

Sunday 14th April vs The Nepotists

The Nepotists 242 (Josh Bailey 3-24)   Great Missenden Pelicans 113

LOST by 129 runs

On a day that was colder than Pingu’s balls 11 hardy Pelicans turned up to the Meadow to do battle with a new foe The Nepotists.

Sporting what sounded like a team of Antipodeans these wandering Kiwis turned up with what can only be described as a fine array of of kit which was laid out with the precision of a British Regiment awaiting each team member. Put it this way I was impressed.

With requests to bat first ringing in Skip’s ears (some things never change) he duly went out won the toss and elected to bowl.

Opening the bowling we had the ever present Toobes from the Railway End and Rags from the Nags End, or we would have done if Rags had not been synchronised to Asian meantime and turned up ready for the start, therefore standing in for Rags we had Josh, who I know it sounds unusual had been promised a bat by Skip.

The bowling was tight and it didn’t take long for Toobes to trap the opener LBW, Josh in the meantime again was keeping the run rate down but unfortunately couldn’t find a way through.

After 3 overs Rags who had finally graced us, took over from Josh and in no time was into the same groove returning figures of 8 overs for 34 runs and one wicket. A metronome is less regular than Rags.

Toobes in the meantime finished an initial 5 over spell unbelievably with no leg side wides, a point he had pleasure in stating to all those that would listen.

With Toobes off the bowling was taken up by our new signing from Kenya Andrew Englefield. An excellent debut Andrew returned fine figures of 8 overs for 46 runs and one wicket, it was unfortunate for him that his spell coincided with the Nepotists’ star batsman who had decided everything was worth dispatching to various parts of Great Missenden, but Andrew would get his revenge.

Partnering up with Andrew, the ever reliable JG followed on from where Rags left off and was unlucky on more than one occasion but finally recorded respectable figures of 6 overs for 45, again he had become the victim of Hitty McBighit.

Unfortunately Mr McBighit then had Niron in his sights, who twirled as good as he could, it was a bit of a shame that Niron had neglected to tell his fingers to twirl the ball and Hitty sent Niron out of Missenden and up to Prestwood, eventually after 4 overs Niron drew his fingers across his throat to Skip and out to grass he was put.

Back on at the Railway End, Josh had been brought back on and bowling at a pace the runfest was halted and wickets soon started falling, the first being Hitty who was caught by none other than Andrew (half bad) Englefied, a fine catch indeed.

Back on at the Railway End Toobes dispatched his first ball down the legside for a wide, this was followed by his second ball, not wishing to make them feel alone he sent another on down there and finished up with a nice round four down the leg side, keeping this regular. It was to Tony’s great credit that he actually stopped the fifth ball which did not go down the leg side. Amazingly after that start Toobes secured his second wicket a fine catch by that man again Andrew Half Bad Englefield, a great diving effort.

The innings came to an end after 40 overs with Josh bowling the Nepotist number 8 an absolute snorter that clipped the bails. Josh returned figures of 7 overs 3 wickets for 24, Toobes having got over his plethora of wides returned figures of 7 overs for 28 with 2 wickets.

Unfortunately the Nepotists returned batting figures of 242.

Tea a wonderful Thai affair was dished up by Susan and eagerly devoured providing both tasty sustenance and warmth.

Opening for the Pelicans and ready to chase down the Nepotist runfest the Pelicans sent out Asad and Josh. Looking for a fine foundation Skip sat back and waited for the runs to flow, it was a pity that such hope turned out to be forlorn as in quick succession both Asad and Josh returned to the clubhouse for figures of 2 and 8 respectively. Ali went out to stem this early collapse but unfortunately didn’t, and after 4 runs he too returned back. Making a welcome return to the Pelicans we had the welcome sight of Sumit, unfortunately making a not too unwelcome sight was Sumit returning to the clubhouse for zero.
Finally Swish Tony started to steady the ship unfortunately from the other end JG graced the crease for a rather short period and too entered the clubhouse.

Enter the Niron……. Now following his bowling Skip was worried about confidence, but he shouldn’t have been as he took his singles and even a few fours. At last a partnership was evolving and the score went past 50, that was until on 16 Swish was bowled, enter Rags who joined Niron. This partnership finally came to an end when Niron was bowled for 21, a fine display at the crease.

Rags was joined by Jalil, that famous batting double act. Unfortunately unlike Eric and Ernie who lasted many decades Rags and Jalil both were soon bowled bringing out the final pairing of Andrew and Toobes.

This short entertaining display was bought to an end by Andrew being bowled behind his legs, something that was aided by him jumping out of the way.

All out 113

With the game over the two teams departed to the pub, this was after the Nepotists had finished their team song.
Anyway they were an entertaining team and one to play again.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.