We welcomed Northdown from the Garden of England for the second match of their 2017 tour.

The home side took up the leather on a wicket prepared by Messrs Fairweather, Carter, Frank and thinner lines painted by Colin.

Hasan opened with the skipper and the first wicket was the first of two odd incidents that marked a good performance in the field. The senior of the two openers slapped a drive straight back at the non striker, hitting his arm which in turn ballooned to Julian (ringer from the Lee) who took a straightforward catch (if there is such a thing). Result, wicket for Hasan, seam mark and bruise on the non-strikers arm and a public display of ‘disgruntledness’ by the unlucky fellow who was out. I did overhear Northdown’s team stirrer say even he wasn’t going to take the mick this time, which showed great restraint judging by his behaviour later.

With cap on back to front, black trainers the number 3 strode to the wicket. As a proponent of the ‘all the gear etc’ looks can be deceiving. Lusty blows to all parts of the meadow did not preclude the chance of a mistimed shot, sent skywards into a no-mans land that not even the bravest were prepared to move into. Dress it up as much as he likes but the Pelis overseas player stood there like Hoa Hakananai’a, impressive bulk but absolutely stock still. We have zinger bails but we don’t have stump microphones, if we had the skipper would have been in trouble with the authorities, as it was we were subject to a Malcolm Tucker-esque tirade, northern accented. Needless to say the culprit was treated like a leper who had soiled the skippers bed for a period of time which only came to end when his call to the bowling crease provided redemption.

While this was going on at the Railway End a new Peli recently arrived from Columbo was making a cracking debut at the bowling crease. Passi bowled with an action of economy and grace and took 3 nice wickets. The Montgolfier of Missenden saw off the backward cap gentleman, their second top scorer and one other. Next up was the second of the overseas players, who combined line and length and dross to burgle one wicket and take two genuine scalps. The first wicket, a full toss caught at mid wicket was marked by J Swire (The Lee) with “I’m not celebrating a wicket off a s*%! ball like that”, this was true evidence of someone who hasn’t played Pelis before. Peanut’s spell was punctuated with the arrival and departure of a helicopter calling in at the Nags Head, we hope to see Passi and his balloon there before the end of the season.

Northdown all out for 168, time for tea.

Tea was a shared effort and these can be a bit of lottery, in this case only if the winning numbers were, 8 8 8 8 8 8 and bonus ball 8. another way to describe it may be to misquote the Scottish bard, “The best bought flans of Tescos and Asda”. Mrs Peanut took credit for the tea for which Mr Peanut was duly fined post match.

Batting at the front end was Julian and Kanaal, they ticked along nicely until Kunaal was splendidly caught on the square leg boundary. Tony came and went, Ali plundered a few as did Butch. John W joined us from Hit and Miss and added a few proper cricket shots to his excellent work in the field. We look forward to him joining us from time to time in seasons ahead.

Step up Passi resplendent in boots, pads, gloves and bat that looked pretty much unused, and proceeded to slap the ball about. The best shot of the lot being the ‘brown trouser maker’ fired straight at the bowler who pretty much ducked it leaving Adam to feel the breeze pass his right ear.

The game was finished at a bit of a canter and a good win and good match all round concluded with a few words from the opposition skipper. Points to note, the fixture derives from an ex-Peli who played for Northdown and brought them on their first tour 30 years previous and that their off spinner had taken his 1500th wicket for the club.

Retiring to the Keys, a lucrative fine session was held and early doors taken as tomorrow had several players backing up for Widmer End the following afternoon.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.