Sunday 11th August vs Middleton Stoney

Middleton Stoney 101 (Nic Vanderpeet 4-15)   Great Missenden Pelicans 21-0

Match DRAWN (rain)

Middleton Stoney, that means match cancelled by some biblical event, ion the past it has been swarms of ants, surely this summer it would be different.

Skip woke on the Sunday looked at the blue sky and cleaned off the unusual red cross that had appeared on his door during the night. Nico had kindly offered to drive to MS so frankly what could go wrong.

We eventually made it to MS after Nico had managed to get lost in a one horse village with two roads, no matter as Skip and MS Skip tossed the coin it was a victory for both teams as the MS Skip elected to bat.

Opening the bowling for the Pelicans there was an old fashioned familiarity as Toobes and Josh did their best. The bowling, well let’s politely say Toobes was not on his best form with a combination of wides and a beamer or two, Josh on the other hand was on form as in his first over he took his first wicket, caught by somebody I remember not but who cares what a start.
That in all honesty was that for the bowling of these two openers as Toobes eventually manufactured 8 overs 0 for 19 and Josh 9 overs 1 for 20. It must be said that Josh missed the stumps or the bat numerous times, it just wasn’t his day. When he eventually did connect with the bat he had the misfortune of hitting it to soapy oil hands who was wearing lard mittens, I will not name and shame as we are above that but this Pelican couldn’t catch herpes.

Taking over from Josh and Toobes we saw the new partnership of Pasi and Hasi, first over from Pasi first wicket, I think caught behind but again not sure, Has on the other hand had taken over from the great miser that is Rags as he bowled his 5 overs for the grand total of 9 runs, the high point being the wicket of the opener which was a beautiful slow ball which simply was not picked up.

Pasi continued his 5 over spell and finished with figures of 6 overs 2 for 18 with his second wicket again being a catch, again I have no clue who took it in-fact I am now doubting if indeed I was there.

With both Hasi and Pasi put out to grass and the MS run rate going at a steady pace, if you’re a dead slug, Skip brought in the big guns.

Video montage time, rousing music (ACDC heatseeker), slow mo used, step forward soapy oil hands.

Now as we all say when something is contested we say “look in the book” that is the font of all truth, well this time if we look in the book under who is bowling we find it was Adam Beerwether, frankly the book is truly amazing.

Bowling his loopy lobby best Beerwether had the MS bats totally bamboozled as he started his spell of bowling, he eventually finished with figures of 4 overs 0 for 15 a great spell.

This was only surpassed by the Aussie hero himself, N Vanderpett, I kid you not just look in the book. Video montage time, rousing music (Toy Dolls, Nelly the Elephant).

Now I don’t know how to describe Nic’s bowling spell other than to say awesome is an understatement as he cut through the MS lower batting order like a dose of sennapods.

He bowled 4 overs and his figures were 4 for 15. With prodigious turn his first wicket was a middle stump clean bowl, his second wicket was a quite amazing caught and bowled as the MS bat smashed it straight back to our Aussie hero only for him to stoop and one handed pluck it out of the air, his third wicket was another clean bowling as the MS bat decided to advance on our bowling machine and his final wicket was an LBW which reluctantly the umpire had to give, in the middle of this carnage we had a run out.

Now I use the term run out loosely as it involved Ali, but with a suicidal run shouted for Ali swooped down on the ball and underarmed it to Nic, he then managed to drop the ball and lose it between his legs, as this was unfolding the MS bat was getting ever closer to safety only for Nico to finally get his act together and run to the stumps and remove the bails.

MS innings over with a grand total of 101.

We had tea.

With the sky turning from blue to white to grey to black Has and As started the process of hunting down the rather low score, with conditions truly difficult and the MS bowlers landing it on a spot this plucky duo managed to get to 21 until the rain came down in BIBLICAL proportions, Match abandoned.

Next year it will be frogs or locusts.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.