The non-trousers
The last time I saw a Yorkshireman having trouble with his trousers he was made of plasticine and had a penguin as his nemesis. Where that was some light hearted entertainment the sight of the skipper getting about in his kecks was nothing more than a horror show. Declining the offer of spare trousers from several teammates he paraded about like a Chippendale, more sideboard than beefcake.

Toss. Lost. Batting. 35 overs per innings.

In first were good friends Josh and Alex. A steady opening partnership until Josh hit the ground not the ball which went onto to hit his pads and ergo was out LBW. 27 added to his tally for the final reckoning at the end of the season. Alex continued on with brief appearances from Raheel and a frenetic visit from Tickles on his 2021 season debut.

Tickles clearly keeps himself in shape. What Alex considered a single, Tickles saw as a couple, easily completed by running the first one hard. With the runs completed Tickles berated Alex with “I’ve got 20 years on you” and in true Peli self-deprecating style Alex came back with “but I’ve got 10 stone on you”. Not bad for one so young and relatively new to the Pelis way.

Tickles slapped a four and then holed out next ball. Ticks’ stay at the crease shorter than time it takes to read the description of it all.

Ali joined Alex where the phrase “you can call me Al” would have a double meaning. The running between the wickets between these two would be a stark contrast to what had come before. But you don’t need to run when you hit boundaries and that’s what the ‘Al times 2’ did. Ali rattled along to 33 before falling to his weakness, running between the wickets. A timely innings that provided some impetus to the Pelis innings which ended on 177/6. Alex ‘Red Ink’ Hill on 61 not out and JG unbeaten on 13 but a little worst for wear, playing a sweep that aggravated his frozen shoulder.

Entering the fray was the Pelis 12th man, the tea. First appearance since the start of the COVID, Ali and Nic provided a spread of sandwiches, cakes, pate, cheese. Top nosh and fuel for the Pelis bowling unit.

Frank and Bailey opening up, Toobes fully trousered downhill (direction not description) and Bailey Minor up hill. After the opening spells the scorecard read like a drinks order for a Hen’s Do, 4 Baileys in the bowler’s column. Some top-quality seam bowling, the ball to get the Knotty opener an absolute peach. The search for the elusive 5th wicket ended unsuccessfully which brought Kavin and Rex to the bowling crease. Rex is QPB, Quickest Pelis Bowler. Ticks will testify how hard the ball hit the gloves and Rex was unlucky not to pick up some wickets. Kavin replaced the skipper and claimed 3 scalps, would have been more if the fielding had been up to scratch.

Hand of Clod
A skier off Kavin, reaching a height that it was photographed by the Hubble telescope, was shelled by Nic, a caught and bowled by the same and a couple of other chances missed left the Pelis with a total of 5 dropped catches. Not great but not something that defined the result, the match completed with a rocket throw from Kavin bringing a run out and a win by 44 runs.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.