We were living in an alternative universe.

Unfortunately, Hotty Hotterson from Hotspur decided not to turn up at the Meadow instead leaving the ground in the capable but miserable hands of Wetty Weterson from Wetson Super Mare, Skip looked at the sky and surveyed the rain and the blanket grey sky nodded to the Hyde heath Skip and said, ‘let’s play cricket’.

The toss was incredibly won by Skip, simple decision bowl first.

The first 10 overs of this 30 over game were reminiscent of watching Bambi try to get up as footings were lost and run ups were reduced to a slow steady canter, Toobes from the railway end and Josh from the Pavilion end.

It is fair to say that batting was rather difficult but that didn’t stop the opening bat for HH carting one round the corner into Joshes welcoming hands, a very nice catch. Josh meanwhile decided to get into the wicket taking game as the number two bat edged it to the muddied spectacle of the Pelicans wicket keeper Mr Simon Tickler himself.
The opening bowling spell came to an end with 5 overs apiece a wicket apiece and a combined run total of 28, a tidy spell.

Following on from the dynamic duo and coming back to The Meadow was the man himself Jaffar, enjoying the British weather of steady rain Jaff unleashed his bombs on the unsuspecting Hyde Heath batsmen. As the ball skidied anad darted about it looked like he would leave the bowling arena without a wicket ….but no the HH bat smashed the ball into Tickles willing hands and the Pelicans came running in to congratulate Jaff, a lovely piece of work.

Unfortunately, the batsman stood his ground, Tickles enquired politely as to why he had not walked… apparently, the noise of leather on bat was indeed a distant curlew, high in the Bucks moorland calling its mate.

Jaff left the bowling arena with a very respectable 5 overs for 20 runs.

Supporting Jaff was our own Kiwi NVDP, his spell of 5 overs for 34 runs contained two moments from either end of the cricketing spectrum, cricket at its best and cricket at its …shall we say unconvincing.

With the batsmen having a go at NVDP as he bowled his combination of mole balls and meteors the HH bat finally got a hold of a ball and sent it back to Nico at hand height but rather quick. Now I will let you decide which end of the spectrum Nico was going to plant himself at as he took evasive action and ducked out of the way of the ball.

Meanwhile in a parallel universe where all the laws of cricket physics are turned upside down Waz fielding in gully saw a looping ball disappear over his head, looking like a deranged spider monkey Waz sent one hand up to the heaven’s whist running backwards and much to the surprise of everybody not least himself caught one handed the HH batsman, unbelievable.

With the second spell finished and the Heath on 82 it was time for Waz and JG to bring the game home, in this spell the HH batsman from Easter Island finally was out a great run out from Josh, whilst Josh once again took another fine catch to dismiss the HH bat who had taken quite a liking to the bowling fare.

With JG’s spell finally finished, Raheel came on to bowl out for Waz as Skip wanted to keep the score below 200. Finally and thankfully the game ended with the Heath on 167 off 30 overs, a fine batting performance in pretty bad conditions.

Tea was a great affair from Ali who served up a fine curry, a warm meal that was readily consumed.

With the conditions still abysmal Raheel and Josh went out to set a foundation, that foundation eventually held a ground floor and then a second floor and for good measures a roof, yes, they brought it home without the loss of any wickets. Raheel scoring a masterful 90, and seeing off a three-foot child in the proceedings and Josh a larruping 63 as he sent the ball for 6 in varying body positions.

With very wet kit but spirits high the Pelicans notched up another victory, roll on Prince of Wales Marsh…..we can’t lose.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.