OPB, QPB, APB, UACPB
You won’t need to be Alan Turing or own an Enigma machine to work out what’s going on if I tell you that the PB in all of these stands for ‘Pelis Bowler’. It’s up to you what the first letters mean when you read on.

Toss won. Bowling. Timed match.

Biblical rain left the ground a little damp but some decent sunshine meant that the game was on. We would have loved to rolled the pitch but were unable to get the container open. Nic and Toobes have several keys that should open the lock yet despite this abundance of lock openers they couldn’t gain access. PG will speak at lengths as to the ease at which he can open the container and both Nic and Toobes have been witness, and indeed coached in the technique. This counted for nothing and so we played on a wicket that Boycott would have described as ‘one to learn to play proper like’.

Toobes downhill, Rex uphill. Both tidy and they ended up with near identical figures, 7 overs for 19 runs, 1 wicket for the skipper, 2 for Rex. The biggest difference was the pace. Rex, as I said in the last missive was QPB, Toobes claiming OPB. Rex bowled with pace and the pitch did play a bit of ‘silly buggers’ jumping off a length and hitting the Widmer End number 3 on the arm and under the armpit, nothing malicious just the vagaries of an unrolled pitch.

Widmer End were subject to some effective Pelis bowling, Rags parsimonious as always, 8 overs, 2 wickets for 15 runs conceded. This included the slowest ball ever to bowl a batsman, Rags almost catching up with the ball in his follow through. But the ball that would have far reaching impact was the one that dismissed the Widmer End number 3. This LBW would be like the ‘shot heard around the world’.*

Nic bowled to claim APB and Kavin bowled steadily in his role as UACPB. Between the dross Nic claimed two unassisted wickets, a caught and bowled (who doesn’t field better off their own bowling?) and a bowled. Otherwise, it was head high full tosses, legside shite and half trackers. This inconsistency is possibly more dangerous than accurate quick stuff. Nic was apologising to the batsmen on average every other ball.

Toobes left to sort the tea, Nic stepped in to guide the Pelis to the end of the innings. An inspired bowling change saw 3 wickets fall to Raheel; at one point he was on a hat trick. It was like watching a Mike Brearley/Steve Waugh hybrid.
Tea included a visit from Odin, Toobes’ dog from the underworld. Good scoff again, thanks Ali and Toobes. The Pelis 12th man playing its part impressively.

The Pelis batting is easy to describe. Hard hitting display of drives, cross-batted hoiks (slog sweeps?), sixes, fours, laconic singles and jogged twos. Raheel and Asad seeing off the chase in good time. Rags was heard to complain that as a senior player he should bat every week. He tells me next week he is only packing his shoes.

A great win, with a certain amount of awkwardness as a result of a civil war amongst some of the opposition which stemmed back to the LBW decision mentioned earlier.

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shot_heard_round_the_world

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.