Hotty Hotterson and Boily Boilerson were not available this Sunday but their cousin Roasty Roasterson was and it was in those rather warm conditions that the Pelicans gathered on the Meadow and welcomed Iffley Village to this green and pleasant land.

With the mantra ‘bat first’ ringing in Skip’s ears not only from the Pelicans but also W.G.Grace himself Skip wandered out won the toss and elected to bat, obviously.

Opening from the railway end we had Toobes and from the Nags Head End a debutant opener Haimes Walters no less.

With a beige wicket surrounded by a beige outfield and a ground as hard as an East End enforcer the wicket provided quite a number of surprises for the batting team. Toobes soon found a rhythm of sorts and peppered the area one nanometre outside the stumps but it was Haimes who notched up the first blood removing the opener with a lovely middle stump bowling.

It wasn’t long before Toobes also got into this wicket taking act and soon he bagged his first one of the day, in fact having done it once it seemed like the memory cells had been restored and he netted a further 4 wickets. Naturally he informed the team that this was down to 80 mph deliveries that were swinging and moving off the seam, or possibly a very very uneven bounce, suffice it to say Toobes and Haimes were soon removed and Asad and Rags continued the assault on the Iffley batsmen.

It didn’t take long for Asad to weave his usual magic and soon he had the wickets falling as Iffley fell the full force of his twirling magic, Rags at the Nags Head end played a more suppressing role with the odd shout for LBW, unfortunately rejected.

The Iffley Skipper deciding that attack was the best form of defence decided to have a go at the bowling, and skied a ball upwards and then downwards towards Haimes. With feet firmly planted, body adjusted he set himself for the inevitable catch, which landed in his hands and immediately escaped and landed by his feet. The Iffley Skipper taking full advantage of this small lapse pushed the score onwards.

With runs being taken Adam was given the instruction to get himself ready, oh yes the Pelicans were going to unleash the big guns, unfortunately Asad removed the number 11 batsman and Iffley’s inning came to an end on 129. Obviously not wishing to face Adam they had capitulated.

Tea was a glorious affair produced by our very own Swish Tony and his mother, a combination of salads, chicken and making its debut at a Pelicans tea, Paneer.

A fantastic offering.

With tea finished the opening Pelicans of Asad and Clive made their way out to the wicket. If ever a good start was needed this was it as our two most experienced batsmen they would be needed to lay a solid foundation. Unfortunately the building materials they seemed to have for these foundations was slime and funny putty as they were soon sent back to the clubhouse both caught whilst hitting dubious shots for a combined grand total of 5.

Thankfully some sense of normality was restored as Greg the White stood his ground and decided no ball should pass his bat. He also decided no ball should go any further than the wicket and so it took a good 10 overs until his first run was chalked up on the board. Niron on the other hand showing all the confidence of a turkey in the run up to Christmas started hitting the ball to the boundaries of the meadow and the runs slowly started to accumulate.

All good things come to an end and eventually Greg lost his wicket though at the same time won Greg of the week, Niron carried on until he to was pinged LBW. The new partnership of Adam and Swish lasted longer than Clive and Asad and in fact yielded more runs but at a pace Adam was unable to sustain and he too soon fell to the Iffley bowling. With a crisp four under his belt the next shot from Tony was a bit of a shocker and removed the middle stump.

Enter the Pelicans’ version of Waldorf and Statler, our very own Jalil and Rags, there would be no quick singles.

Taking to his task Jalil did what Jalil does best, hit the ball straight over the bowlers head, Rags similarly found the boundary, the total was getting close as the Pelicans motored past 100. It’s always when we look good that something goes wrong and so it came to pass as Rags was caught and sent back to the clubhouse just after Jalil had been floored by one that had risen a bit sharply.

Out to the wicket and making his debut for this season we had Ronak looking like a pro, well he did for one ball as he was unfortunately bowled on the second, but hopefully he will return and build on that.

There was a bit of a sad inevitability as Jalil then fell and last man Toobes went out and fared exactly the same as Ronak, out second ball. The Pelicans all out 110.

For such a low scoring match it had everything, even a VAR dismissal as the opposition umpire had managed to film an LBW shout whilst actually officiating, I am not sure our resident Umpire aficionado would have approved but it did provide much hilarity if not the correct result on further viewings in the pub.

It was a pleasure to welcome Iffley 10 thoroughly nice and entertaining individuals and Olly Ross. We most certainly look forward to seeing them back at the meadow next year and if we must Olly as well.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.