Great Missenden Pelicans CC » Sunday 27th September vs Kensington

Sunday 27th September vs Kensington

Great Missenden Pelicans 277 (Kunaal Kankate 99^*, Josh Bailey 97, Asad Rehman 42) Kensington 202 (Josh Bailey 4-41)

WON by 75 runs

Man of the Match: Josh

Kensington, our old friends came to the Meadow, the sun was out and let’s be honest all was good in the world.

Skip and Neeraj toddled out to the wicket discussing all things not cricket, stood, surveyed the strip below our feet and tossed the coin. With heads called by Neeraj both captains watched closely as the coin landed and revealed tails. “We’ll have a bat” suggested Skip, and with that hands were shook and the gladiators of war suited up in their finest white armour,

Raheel and Asad went forth to do battle with the best that Kensington could throw at them. Such confidence against Kensington can usually provide you with a smacked botty and today was no different as the Minister of Mayhem in his finest woolly hat David Behar bowled firstly Raheel for 10 swiftly followed by Hasan for zero. Skips plans were looking a tad problematic. Now elevated to number 4 having sat in his pads all day Saturday Josh “Shadup” Bailey strolled out to bat with all the purpose of a Sherman tank, a rather lanky streaky looking Sherman tank but a Sherman tank all the same that resembled a daddy long legs with leg extensions.

I must confess having watched Josh many times his innings tends to be a bit on the edge of your seat affairs as one moment of brilliance can swiftly be followed by one not so moment of brilliance. And with his first scoring runs being a 4, 2, 6, I must admit that once again I was expecting the expected, i.e. 6 followed by bowled, BUT NO the 6 was followed by a block which brought a mighty cheer from the crowd and a defiant hand raise from Joshy Boy.

It was not until the 24th over that what was starting to look like two batsmen became one batsman trudging back to the clubhouse, not Josh Oh no but our very own Prince of Chesham Asad, out for a paltry 42………..loser. Josh was now joined by Kunaal, playing because Rags had decided to stand down, a random decision that was to have far reaching effects. With the Pelicans score on 115 Kunaal decided to play himself gently into the game with seven singles and a two, Josh similarly had slowed down to singles, but safe singles.

With 30 overs gone and 10 to go the Pelicans score was on 159, Skip announced par would need to be at least 220 and even then, those pesky Kensington’s would cause us some problems. Josh sensing a bit of a hurry up coming on decided something must be done and unleashed in his own imitable style hell, if indeed hell was to be found in the Pink Flamingo Bar at the end of Pier 143, 4 followed 4 followed 6 until on 97 and so close to a hundred he was finally caught, what an innings. The Pelicans were now on 193 after 34 overs, 6 to go, surely, we could get another 30.

With one Bailey coming back to the clubhouse the Pelicans sent out the Old Bailey or the Hanging Judge as he is known in no parts, looking a fine athletic specimen that loosing 2 stone makes you look. Judge Bailey demanded his guard from Nico, confidently he raised his bat, like the finest swordsmith this side of Constantinople, chopped it downlike a gladiator, and watched his wickets disintegrate as he was bowled first ball. Thankfully, he was replaced by a proper batsman Niron, ably supported by his cousin who told everyone he was rubbish. Bails meanwhile incredibly unlucky in his wicket loss explained something about Nico giving him the wrong guard, the tooth fairy being in his line of sight or something like that, anyway it wasn’t his fault ok. So where were we oh yes 35 overs 201 runs. With Skip looking for hopefully another 20 or so runs Kunaal decided it was time to step it up not only another gear but actually a good 23 gears. There then followed the Meadows very own version of Blitzkrieg as hell was unleashed from a knackered split old bat. 6 followed 6 followed 4 and so it went on as the most destructive spell ever witnessed by this individual sent the Kensington fielders to all four corners of Bucks.

With 3 balls to go Kunaal was on 83, he hit a 4, followed by a 6 followed by a 6 to end on 99 not out. Now some would say that the last 6 was hit off a no ball, indeed all the players would say that, let’s leave it there. Anyway, with the help of Nirons nurdling and fine back up display the Pelicans had finished on 277. Unbelievable.

Tea…………….euch

With tea finished the Pelicans made their way out to try and stop what all felt was coming, a Kensington fightback. Opening for the Pelicans we had Toobes and Hasan, Toobes well ok usual fodder, Hasan on the other hand first over first wicket, unbelievable. The Pelicans celebrated but there was still plenty more batting to come.

The other Kensington opener Keleher decided attack was the only form of defence and started to unleash his own version of hell, primarily off the bowling of Toobes, naturally all unbelievably great shots. He was ably supported by Rohan who we know from old can bat a bit. With Toobes commencing his final over and ramping his speed up to 32 kph Rohan was deceived by the quality of the 5th ball of the over, actually on the wickets, such was his surprise that he watched it hit his wickets, not in slow motion, that was the actual speed.

I would like to say the Pelicans started to smell blood but actually we didn’t we knew things were not over yet especially with Keleher slapping the ball around. With Toobes out to grass Skip called the Chesham Prince himself into bowl, and after changing into his party frock he watched his first two balls go for 8. Hasan meanwhile into his final over unleashed his inner man and let rip with a low bouncing stunner that took out the Kensington opener on 53. The celebrations were a little more exciting but still muted, “cant trust them” muttered Skip.

With Hasan now joining Toobes the Joshmeister came on to do battle, and what a battle it was as he ripped through the middle order of Kensington and returned figures of 4 for 41 off 8 overs, what a performance, and following his batting heroics what a day. Meanwhile Asad now with warmed fingers did what he does best and suffocated the other end, unusually he didn’t get any wickets……loser. With Asad and Josh finishing their spells it was time to bring on the big guns, Adam (there aint no bigger gun) and Niron (no one has a bigger gun). Adam as usual took his customary wicket off 6 overs for 38 but Niron with the hands of Shane Warne but without the grip took two wickets for 11 off 3 overs and brought the game to a close with Kensington finishing on 202.

With hugs all around and Cobras to drink the two teams mingled and shared stories of tales of derring do, or just discussed what a great occasion it was. Meanwhile in the clubhouse Suranga assisted by Thilli prepared a Sri Lankan feast that was enjoyed by all those that took part or indeed watched the game. A fantastic tea produced by two of the smiliest, newest Pelicans who have added such a great deal to the club in the short time they have been with us.

With the 2020 season ending what a fitting and wonderful way to sign off, great company, great food and no rain.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.

A visit to Middleton Stoney is always a pleasure, particularly for Messrs Greenwood and Fairweather given it’s the one fixture a year with travel time sub 45 minutes, but also because of their beautiful ground and the good folk Middleton Stoney 1st XI are excellent hosts.

Winning a tight game of “which hand is the stone in” was the skip du jour’s only real contribution and gave us the honour of the decision. He then followed his strategy of “What would Toobes not do?” so the Pelis strode out for a bat. Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam would have be proud too, as father and son were our 1&2 with James and Dave looking to open our account. A brief affair sadly with James looking to leave the USO* which pitched on a length on middle-stump which proved fatal, so out came Ajmal to get us motoring. He made a start and got to 12, before being called for a suicidal single by “Pappa Doc” Bailey, and being run out. The opposition sportingly suggested this was a tight call but in such circumstances I am always reminded the view of our clumpire NVDP that the two outcomes are “in” or “out” there is no “nearly out” or “nearly in.” Finger raised and be off with you!

A tight period followed with wickets and a steady dribble of runs, the ground and Middleton Stoney is gorgeous but a lush recently rained on outfield, and pitch size on the generous was always going to result in a reduced run volume. Dr B continued to move on steadily, with one appeal for caught behind declined by the umpire despite some protestations (I’ve checked and the book says not out) partners coming and going, with Josh and JG adding some valuable additions towards the end. Waz ended the innings facing one ball too many, which as it happens was ONLY one ball, so tea was taken.

During this period something of a drama unfolded. Mr Arif failed to notice the wasp taking up temporary residence in his drinks can, and was promptly stung on the top lip. During the break fair to say Ajmal’s lip reached epic proportion and far great than anything a Kardashian might consider. He therefore departed early – for the second time in a day! Thankfully the oppo kindly sported us a fielder however, so our thanks.

Conversation was then had about the fact that 138 may be enough (it wasn’t) and that we had plenty of bowling to give us a chance (we did). Opening was Waz and Nixon who both bowled well, and in Nixon’s case darn quickly if Dr Bailey’s face when he collected the first few into his gloves were to be observed. Dr B had his work cut out for him and manly dove both sides of the stumps for a number of the bowlers. Replacing our openers was Josh and Juelz who both bowled really well with a couple of overs from Josh delivering some absolute seeds. An echoing trickle of runs and wickets to our own effort but sadly runs were achieved whilst wickets remained, which is often the case with three dropped catches. Never mind. Game over.

A bbq and beer after the game with some thoroughly lovely opposition. Onwards.

*Unexpected Straight One

After rain fell throughout the week leaving the pitch looking, and acting, like brown playdoh, a fresh new Pelican skipper walked out to do the toss… and promptly lost. Guess the era isn’t all that different from the last. With Holmer Green looking confidently at the weather they proclaimed they would bowl first, much to the Pelicans disgust, although that disgust turned to gratitude as the clouds opened for the first hour but play continued.

It must be understood that for the first 12 overs, to say the pitch was slow was the understatement of the century, and all the credit must be given to Asad and Ali as they moved the run rate along at a sedate pace, but ultimately setting a VITAL 36 run platform for the first wicket. Ali, unfortunately the titan to fall, walked virtually straight up to the skipper and stated that with the stumping off a wide he had just fallen victim to, he had now completed the full set of stupid dismissals.

With that VITAL… I say again, VITAL 36-run platform set, the Pelis set about proving they were Pelis, and lost four more wickets over the next five overs for a grand total of nine runs. 36-1 had suddenly become 45-5 and the skipper had a very good idea of what Joe Root must have felt for 17 tests. In the middle of the aforementioned collapse, it should be noted that Tony was given out LBW. Before the bowler had even turned around, Niron’s finger was already raised to sky and Tony’s disbelief was complete, especially given the ball was probably closer to hitting his head than the stumps, it was so high. Ah well, we move on.

Jalil and Niron took on the task of rebuilding, with Jalil displaying some of his swashbuckling best and Niron standing vigil, Pelicans began to settle down a bit. Finally, Jalil fell, when he decided to play the exact shot he had been telling everyone else not to. Then Niron, who on his 25^th ball got off the mark, was caught on his 26th. Shame that.

This brought to the crease Hasan and Josh with the score 74-7. They proceeded to take the attack back to bowlers and in the 11 overs they were in the middle together put on 85 runs before Has launched a ball into orbit. He called Josh through with a swagger, “he has no chance” he said, having already been put down by the same man that day. But that man clung on and Has trudged off for a very well made 50.

Felix came out to join Josh for the final 2.1 overs and ran his heart out as Pelis finished on a very respectable 180 – 8.

Tea was a delicious chicken curry with plenty of extras made by Ali, spectacular does not come close to describing how good it was. Shame the Oppo turned it down before they even arrived.

Marching out to bowl, in the absence of Waz, Josh tossed the ball to Harrison, a man known only to Ali…. And maybe his daughter. He apparently hadn’t played cricket since school, not that it showed. A beautiful spell of swing bowling and after the openers walked away from the first 11 overs they had kept Holmer Green to a miserly 33 – 2. Solid start.

Replacing Josh at the bottom was Has, who did as Has does and spun webs for the batters, but this time to little reward. His partner in crime, however, was the young 16-year-old Felix Harris, this was the man who really stole the show. Fearing where the ball would go, Josh packed the leg side and Felix dutifully put 7 overs of metronomic bowling on middle and leg. Our very own Chris Woakes took 3 wickets in a brilliant of spell of control either side of drinks, never letting the Oppo get away from him. Now, to say that Pelis fielding can sometimes be hopeless would be putting it kindly. Catch after catch after catch went down, but still the bowlers soldiered on and finally the ball found, incredibly, James, who when he held on, lifted his arms to the sky and ran around screaming.

Drinks came and the Holmer were sat on 75, Pelis were on top, but skip knew that things could get away from them at any moment. Time for Niron. Four overs of tantalizing medium pace left Holmer wondering how they were ever going to get another run. These fears only increased when Ajmal and Asad came on to really apply the pressure. 12 overs and a sensational bit of Felix fielding later (honestly this guy had a day to be proud of) and the Oppo were dragging themselves into the last over 160 – 9, needing 20 to tie. Cometh the hour, Cometh the Harrison. Our opening bowler of magical hair came on and cleaned up the opposing skipper and victory was complete. An all-round wonderful day.