Welcome back Knotty Green following Rickmansworth refusal to meet the might of the Pelicans.

With once again a surfeit of Pelicans appologies those who stood down the Pelicans sent their Skipper out to loose the toss and bowl first, well they were 50% right although in Skips mind it was 100%, oh yes toss won and bowling first ding dang doo.

Making a welcome return the Pelicans had Wild Ginger himself….Tickles behind the stumps taking over from Asad “I told you I was injured” Rehman.

Also making not only a welcome return to the Pelicans but also the UK flying straight in from Sri Lanka Pasi Ferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnandooooooooooooooooooo.

Opening the bowling for the Pelicans there was the familiar sight of Toobes at the Railway end and Haimes from the Nags Head End, the bowling unbelievably was very tight from both ends and it didnt take long for Toobes to take his first wicket in his second over, cheered on by his own team, well when I say cheered on there was the sound of Skipper Lala and Skipper Lalu or something like that, anyway one means brother and one means penis, I will let you decide between Jaffar and Jalil who said what.

From the Nags end Haimes as expected bowled with incredible meaness and finally got his just rewards in the 5th over with a wicket, removing the other opener, bowling him.

With 5 overs bowled Toobes was taken out of the attack for fear of some age related heart problem but managed respectful figures of 5 overs 1 for 12, following him the Pelicans welcomed the Sri Lankan express Pasi. Taking his customary 5 steps Pasi did what Pasi does best, ping balls down the wicket at Warp factor 3, as Clive would say, ” Somebodies going to die out there”, thankfully nobody did but also nobody scored any runs either.

Bowling from the Nags End we had Mr Metronome himself, Rags, it is fair to say due to the bowling the run rate was about as quick as a snail with a broken foot and a severed cerebral ganglia.

Now apologies here but the Knotty Green scorebook is such a mess I am working on scribble and memory but after 20 overs and drinks KG had amassed the grand total of 36.

With Rags going through his full repetoire of deliveries he finally took his first wicket a direct throw by non other than Ali, now I know there may be howls of disbelief but it happened, direct throw from point, bat up in the air, thank you very much, what were the chances of that, like lightning though we knew that wouldn’t happen again here.

Pasi at the Railway End also got into the wicket act as one of his “somebodies going to die” deliveries reared up took an edge and was taken by Asad at first slip, a fine catch. Pasi then finished his 7 over spell with yet another wicket and figures of 7 overs 2 for 7, how mean are those figures.

Taking over from Pasi the mighty Jaffar took the ball, looking every inch the Shane Warne that he isn’t Jaf proceeded to twirl and bamboozle the KG batsmen.

Meanwhile from the Railway End Rags finished off his spell but not before a bit of fielding gold. Who said lightning doesn’t strike twice, with the ball slapped to point at about 4 mph Ali pounced on the ball as for some reason the KG batsmen decided to take a run, after witnessing the earlier run out surely suicidal. Ali picked up the ball and prepared to unleash the Bilgrami rocket, unfortunately the fuse appeared to be wet and Ali dropped the ball, with the KG batsmen in a quandary the only sensible option appeared to be wait run stop go back wait as Ali once again prepared to unleash that Cobra arm only for him to drop it once again, then loose it in between his legs and then feet. With the KG batsmen in total confusion as to what they should be doing Ali finally picked the ball up on the third time of asking, now I wont say throw, but he managed to get it to Tickles who took the bails off with the KG batsmen still discussing whether to advance or retreat. Cricket was not the winner.
With 10 overs bowled Rags had figures of 10 overs 1 for 15 and was put out to grass.

Taking over from Rags and doubling up with Jaffar, Haimes came back to wreak further havoc in the KG run fest, meanwhile Jaffar had his own problems from the Railway End as he was pinged for a back foot no ball, showing all the control of Mickey Rourke on a full blown bender, Jaf questioned the decision and then explained that in his million years of bowling such a decision was to say the least ridiculous, anyway if you look in the book it doesn’t say ” no ball incorrectly give soz”.

Jaf finished his spell though with fine figures of 7 overs 2 for 46 one of his wickets being a nice twirly affair which allowed Ticks to remove the Bails and Haimes also completed his second spell with another couple of wickets and once again fantastic figures of 9 overs 4 for 26. Brilliant.
KG were all out for 122

Tea was once again a superb affair with a team effort, special thanks to Jalil who must have sweated hours on a fabulous curry, Jaf for the Dominoes Pizzas, Ali for the samosas, Rags for the fruit and Tickles for the cakes, we could have fed the world.

With tea taken it was down to Asad and Pasi to form a solid foundation, which they did, again Pasi did what Pasi does smash the ball harder than a gangland enforcer and Asad caressed the ball, yes I did say that, to all sides of the Meadow.
This fun naturally would not last and with the score on 44 Pasi was pinged LBW for 15.

Taking over from Pasi we had Shazad who got off the mark with a very nice four, followed by another one, meanwhile Asad continued his march to greatness as he looked in fine form, putting all the hard luck balls away from his mind he finally was in the right place at the right time, until Haimes pinged him for LBW for 22, a look of disbelief followed by a dragging of feet meant one could assume he disagreed, but if you look in the book it doesn’t say, “wasnt out really” or maybe that’s what LBW stands for.

Shazad continued his assualt on the KG bowling now ably assisted by Ali. Following his fielding prowess goodness knows what his batting would be like, as it happens it was par for the course, 4, 4, swish miss bowled.

Now following Rupert’s super yips last week he decided to bat rather than bowl and with the Skipper’s instructions ringing in his ears, don’t get out just defend the ball and wait until you are ready to go.

Shazad meanwhile also fell foul of the Walters finger as he was dismissed for 15, this brought Rags to the wicket who in his usual bloody minded approach decided the only way to play this game was with boundaries, this pair put on a total of 34 with Rags contribution being 31, Rupert playing himself in was thinking about the long game. Rags last stand at the crease was a mighty 6, he was then caught.

With Rags gone this gave Wild Ginger his chance to finish KG off, unfortunately after smashing a 4 the effort proved too much and he was caught in the slips.

This then teed it up for Jalil to play his cameo role, he went out there, got a sighter for 1, retained the strike then hit 4, 4 thank you very much game over.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.