Sunday 8th September vs Ley Hill

Great Missenden Pelicans 273-4 (Asad Rehman 96, Raheel Khan 61, Amit Singh 53)   Ley Hill 193-3 (Andrew Marshall 2-28)


With the sun beating down on the meadow and a full days cricket to enjoy, what possibly could go wrong.

Another Sunday another toss, Skip strode out to the wicket with Paul the Ley Hill Skip and duly tossed, Skip duly lost and was put into bat……..the last thing we wanted.

Opening for the Pelicans we had the Stan and Ollie double act itself, Raheel and Asad, or Asad and Raheel I can never tell the difference such are the similarities.

I am at a loss to pad this out but Asad and Raheel both feasted at the table of average bowling and fielding of a standard even the Pelicans rarely enter.

Highlights were Asad being dropped a million times as he lost more and more interest in proceedings, Asad surviving a stumping after he danced half way down the wicket missed the ball, did a circuit of the ground, aged 15 years, got married, had a family, packed the youngest off to school and still made it back into his crease before the Ley Hill wicket keeper took the bails off.

Raheel at the other end similarly helped himself to this friendly fire, until on 64 decided enough was enough and got out.
Asad continued with his slogathon and on 96 duly missed one and was bowled.

This fine pair of batting superstars were replaced by Amit and Ali. To be honest I cant remember how many runs they got as Amit appeared to hit more balls left handed than right and Ali who must have been on something proceeded to run quick singles, yes you heard it right QUICK SINGLES.

As I don’t have the book to hand I can not recollect how many runs they amassed but it had continued in the same vein as before until these two ninjas were also out and brought Niron and Harry to the crease.

It must be said with the score board heading north of 250 Skip was contemplating declaring but the constant moaning from the Ley Hill wicket Keeper about how many overs they were bowling and how we were getting too many runs put paid to that. The highlight was the final over before tea when both umpires were in place with a minute to go and the said wicket keeper who had not changed ends complained that indeed time should be taken when he was ready at the other end. Suffice it to say such logic was consigned to where it belonged and another needless over was bowled to prove a point, and tea was taken with 273 on the board. Now we have chased this total down and we have lost it from this total so all was to play for.

Tea now this is where it starts getting exciting as this week it was a Harry Kendall affair, and as affairs go this was worthy of Mrs Robinson. A fine array of sandwiches and cakes were presented before the teams and devoured with gusto and appreciation.

With tummies bulging the Pelicans took to the field, opening we had the old war horse himself, Toobes and new to the Pelicans Andrew Marshall Esq.

It is fair to say that Toobes’s first over was not his best, but as for Marsho, straight in on line and length and a wicked piece of swing.

With Ley Hill having a go the ball was bound to get up in the air at some point, and indeed it did. Now I won’t say who the Pelican was who dropped the first catch suffice it to say he is a lovely chap. With shouts of hard luck Amir the Pelican bowlers manfully carried on and with Marsho’s bowling sliding ever past the bat eventually a ball was slapped up into the air and taken by Amit, the first of no doubt many Peli wickets for Marsho, in fact the second of his many didn’t take long to happen as Raheel plucked his next victim out of the air.

A fine opening display from Andrew.

With both Toobes and Andrew retired from the bowling the Pelican rescue came to bowl, AA…..Adam and Amir.

It was at this stage with about 23 overs still to go that the Ley Hill batsmen decided to shut up shop and go for the draw. I would like to pad this out a bit but I am struggling as the left hand opener carried on taking his shots but not his partners who like Gandalf announced ‘Thy shall not pass’. Amazingly in a fit of excitement the ball was slapped just under a Boeing 747 cruising height right above Harry. There he stood literally legs wobbling as the ball descended at 400mph into those cupped hands, and there it stayed.

This was about the last bit of action as a further 20 overs of blocking out was endured, the game ended and the Pelicans retired to the Nags Head for a de-brief and a bit of excitement.

There you go. Not much to say.

Time for a joke
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor breakdancing, moonwalking, back flipping, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, ” See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
Husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating”


Such was the soporific nature of the match it appears that it I forgot to mention what was by far the major moment of the game.

Niron finally handed the wicket keeping gloves was ready to do battle behind the stumps, Skip shown real confidence from Niron with his “are you sure” question. He was.

Now to be fair a number of balls were going down the leg side which were well taken, there were also a few which went through the gloves which had the same result from our Calypso Catcher, namely stare intently at the offending gloves, practice the catch without the aid of a ball (which mostly was successful) and then prepare for the next ball.

All was going swimmingly until off Andrew’s bowling a ball decided to not deviate at all, catching our Caribbean Queen off guard somewhat. With wicket keeping gloves thrust forward to receive the ball Niron somehow took the ball in a legs akimbo gait and unfortunately the enormous gloves proved useless in stopping the ball allowing it to smash full force into the Niron Pods. Such was the force of ball hitting box a red leather mark was there for all to see. Thankfully this was on the upper box, the middle box was undamaged as was the lower one.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.