We rule, we Papas rule the dance, in a brand new fashion in a brand new style we rule.

So sang the Wee Papa Girl Rappers, and how apt were those poignant words as the Pelicans notched up the notable scalp of Hit or Miss after way too many failures.

With a team hewn out of the iron from Hades itself the Pelicans were up for some serious cricket and so it came to pass.

With rain forecast in the evening the overriding request from the clubhouse was ‘Bat first’ The Hit or Miss Skipper on informing Skip that his team were not as strong as they could be, indeed fielding some very small children (more about that later), suggested he would prefer us to bat first. Advice duly taken Skip gesticulated to the dressing room and mouthed the words “we’re batting”

Expecting to be lifted upon Pelican shoulders Messiah-like, can I just say for all the doing what the team wants I was somewhat underwhelmed at the joyous response of “oh”?

Opening up in his penultimate game we had old Skip, who was accompanied by Asad. The weakened Hit or Miss teams bowling immediately didn’t look too weakened to the Pelicans as on the second ball Asad saw his stumps upended, only to be reprieved by the lusty shout of “No ball” from umpire Tony.

Asad eventually did fall somewhere in his forties, bringing Kunaal out to the wicket.

The H/M bowling continued to be of the highest order and mutterings of “we’ve been had” could be heard as Ex Skip Livie returned to the clubhouse having been clean bowled though not before the scoreboard had pushed on beyond 80.

Ali replaced Ex Skip and did what Ali does best, look very comfortable, stroke a nice 4 then produce a wild swish to be caught behind.

Jalil stepped out and having played some truly glorious shots for 4 decided to call it a day and returned to the clubhouse.

Enter Tony to the fray, and enter the dragon otherwise known as the small 10 year old, Kunaal and Tony tucked into some loose opening balls but this wily 10 year old was only setting a trap which Tony duly sprung and was caught out from an audacious shot that was going straight to the boundary beyond point.

Tickles bound out set on restoring the world equilibrium with some fine shots and the customary quick singles, but again the cunning 10 year old saw a slight chink in the Tickler armour and with a swish had our legend consigned to the clubhouse with another catch.

Rags went out to join younger Rags, a beautiful moment as Father and Son acting as one in syncopated harmonious rhythm set about the H/M bowling or they would have done had not Kunaal ran his father out.

Padded up and ready for action Adam blistered out of the clubhouse and stood like a mighty redwood as Kunaal hit the last ball for a single and in they came.

Once again Kunaal had lead the batting with a fine 69 not out.

The Pelicans had put on a respectable 177, but would it be enough? Thankfully we were not to bothered about that as we all tucked into an NVDP tea which was a truly magnificent affair.

Opening the bowling we had Toobes and Hasan, fresh from his match-drawing heroics the week before.

Unusually both bowlers – or should I say unusually Toobes – actually managed to bowl this week with some degree of accuracy, but it was fairly obvious that the opening batsmen could indeed bat. Mummerings of “we’ve been had” could be heard.

It was Hasan who struck first, sending the opener back to the clubhouse, this was shortly followed by Toobes sending back the number 3 batsman who having survived a fine LBW appeal nicked one to Tony behind the stumps.

The H/M number 4 batsman started the downward spiral in size, this 13 year old who had shown the Pelicans he could bowl a bit was first of all softened up with a beamer from Toobes before he was dispatched LBW. This brought to the crease an even smaller H/M bat otherwise known as The Dragon.

With Tickles replacing Toobes the scene was set for two cricketing titans to stare each other in the face if step ladders had been available.

With all thoughts on revenge Tickles sent down his first beamer to soften up this giant of the crease; smelling 10 year old blood a short ball followed, rocking back in his size 2 boots this was dispatched towards the boundary, his steely blue eyes boring deep into Tickles’ soul.

Tickles incensed by such a lack of respect sent down another beamer, the plucky 10 year old stood his ground as the ball sailed 5 feet over his head which itself was 4 feet above the grass, the sheer impudence in his stance again pushed Tickles on to unleash another mighty beamer, surely he would run off to his Mum crying soon, but no like the Rock of Gibraltar this 10 year old was made of sterner stuff, and this sterner stuff was soon aided by the joining of his father at the crease who it was apparent most certainly could bat a bit.

Still this titanic struggle continued at the other end as finally Tickles skilfully duped said 10 year old into a rash shot that saw the ball float up and over to Adam in first slip, it then continued to float through both his hands and come to stop by his feet. With murder in his eyes Tickles went back to his mark, with speed ramped up to 30 mph Tickles unleashed the MOAB and finally had his man/boy. Satisfied Tickles requested that he be rested, what a giant of a man.

Asad replaced Tickles and with Rags holding up the Pub end the job was now to remove the H/M batting order.

With the father still at the crease and cutting loose for a short while things looked somewhat tight as there were still 14 overs to go, finally he was removed on a fine 60 and the rest of the H/M lower order succumbed to the Kankate, Asad double act.

A fine victory

Drinks were taken at the Keys and with the court sitting High Lord Chief Justice Van Peanut administered the fines for the game.

With a new fine introduced GOW (Greg of the week) the first recipient of this honour went to Ex Skip Livie for making 6 runs in 11 overs.

Another fine moment was ball gate. Having been dispatched for a mighty 6 Tickles was given a replacement ball; used to feeling balls, Tickles immediately sensed a problem. To cut a long story short it became apparent as another ball was sent out that indeed the offending sphere was indeed a child’s ball. Vindicated, Tickles continued his bowling spell and duly lost this ball as well.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.