On a day that was hotter than the centre of Mount Doom itself these well done Pelicans secured a draw against what has been an historically strong side.

With new Skip back into the Peli fold having spent last weekend with ‘his type of people’ he strode out to the wicket with the opposition Skipper and duly won the toss. In blistering heat that even a Tuareg nomad would find uncomfortable, Skip elected to bowl. Incredibly this choice was not met with the ringing endorsement expected, but the choice was made and out marched the Pelis hot sticky and slightly musky, well out marched 10 musky Pelis our 11th Peli smothered himself in fly spray that doubled up as deodorant.

Toobes and Mini Shadup Bails got into their slightly slower stride, and it was not long that mutterings of ‘mmmmmm they look handy’ could be heard as cut shots and cover drives were dispatched for 4.

It didn’t take long though for the first bit of controversy to take place as a run out appeal was turned down, with bat in the air and about 1 foot short the opener was considered safe, unbeflippinleavable.

With the Fiddlers score ticking along very nicely Josh got one to lift and come into the batsman who could only manage to glove it to Old Skip who was keeping wicket, this was shortly followed by opener number 2 again off Josh smashing the ball to Hasan who not only managed to keep hold of it taking a wonderful low catch, but in the process took off a scab from an earlier injury, no doubt cricket or indeed boxing related.

As two new batsman came to the wicket it didn’t take long for the Pelis to be heard muttering, these two look pretty handy as slashes, slogs and drives continued the impressive run rate. Eventually Toobes made a bit of an effort and finally took a wicket, as the slow ball took out the Monty Panasar lookalike, actually when I say took out I mean it nudged the wicket and bounced off just managing to dislodge the bails.

The Fiddlers’ answer to Tino Best came to the wicket and again looked like he could hit it, which in fairness he did right at Skips head. It will be claimed as a catch but really it was an attempt to deflect it away which somehow managed to stick.

Josh and Toobes were finally rested and on would have come Haimes, unfortunately the effort of lifting one leg in front of the other had shredded his calf in half and he took over umpiring duties from NVGBT. Therefore taking over for Toobes we had Asad, and for Josh, JG.

The run rate did as expected, slow down, Asad came close time and time again but his 5 overs were very economical; JG, in imperious JG form, took a couple of wickets for not many runs as he trundled up the hill.

With players beginning to wilt Asad was replaced by Hasan, who it’s fair to say. didnt have as much luck with the ball this week; JG continued his spell from the Nag’s Head End, eventually coming to an end to be replaced by Josh. Hasan whose bloodied trousers flapped in the hot thermals eventually was rested and Asad was brought back into the attack.

This resulted in an immediate wicket as did Josh’s return to the attack.

Eventually The Fiddlers finished all out 175.

Tea was provided by Laura and what an affair it was. A lot of everything, the Pelis’ 12th man.

With tummies full Asad and The Mighty Rollingson took to the wicket, with sound advice from Skip still ringing in Asad’s ears of “concentrate don’t slog” Asad duly ignored him and slogged the ball down Monty Panesar’s throat. Not exactly the start we wanted.

Greg this week decided to cut loose early and within 10 deliveries was off the mark.

Unfortunately new Greg then was out in the same fashion as Old Greg, quickly

Niron who had had a quiet day sauntered out to the crease in a way only The Nironomater can, preparing to unleash hell. Unfortunately Hell was out for lunch and Niron sauntered back.

With Ali already at the crease and looking quite comfortable he was joined by Harry, I know I said it at the time but this was the occasion ‘When Harry met Ali’, I thank you

The day was set for Harry Manatee. With children and wife watching Harry swished at every ball possible, unfortunately he was unable to connect with many of the swishes and with his children more interested in Peanut’s Vespa he too returned to the clubhouse.

It’s at times like this that Bonnie Tyler comes to mind, somebody who would prefer to be ‘Lost in France’, but in Skips mind ‘I need a hero’, step forward Old Skip.

Unfortunately Ali didn’t like the film reference of When Livie met Ali and decided to retire to the clubhouse.

JG also graced the wicket and looked like he had overdosed on Viagra or something as he smashed a ball for 6, unfortunately like many things in life it was over far too quickly and he too trudged back to the clubhouse.

Its at times like this that Skip’s mind thinks of M People and ‘Search for a Hero’, and we had one in the shape of the mighty Hasan. Fresh from dehydration, starvation and surrounded by death flies he strode out to join Livie.

With the score at not many for a lot Livie and Hasan went about the Fiddlers bowlers like something that hits a red piece of leather all over the place.

The run rate came down as boundary followed boundary, which bearing in mind Hasan was fasting was a pretty good strategy, unfortunately all good things come to an end and Old Skip holed out for 44, tragedy.

Tragedy quickly turned to comedy as Hasan was joined by Peanut. Peanut’s instructions, clear and precise, get Hasan on the strike, we can win this. Unfortunately the voices were louder than the instructions, and those voices deep within Peanut’s head said block.

The run rate crept up as Peanut then conspired to be out bringing Josh to the wicket, it was still on……just.

Unfortunately fate once again weaved its wicked way and Hasan having just got his 50 also went. A fantastic innings from our very own Pot Noodle.

Skip marched out to meet Josh, the instruction was clear, we are not losing. “What if” said Josh, “No” said Skip.

Two overs and it was a draw having scored 153, a great effort.

Judge Peanut sat to administer fines which will be posted up soon, my favourite being Greg for running like a cross between Boris Karloff playing Frankenstein and a Zombie…….epic

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.