‘I cant really remember when that last happened’ opined PG.

With the sun shining hotter than Hotty Hottersons hotpants the Meadow looked resplendent as we welcomed one of our tougher fixtures of the Pelicans calendar, those Lord Gnomes.

As Skip walked into the changing room he was greeted not only by a low moaning sound but also a wall of smell, it wasn’t the smell of fear, oh no this was the smell of somebody who had been on a serious bender the night before and whose body now oozed the day after. Step forward Swish Tony.

Complaining about his wrecked body and sounding like a weedy 4 year old girl whose favourite dolly had been left upstairs he implored Skip to bat first so he could have a little moment of nappy nap naps.

Skip won the toss and elected to bowl.

Opening up for the Pelicans from the railway end the ever geriatric Toobes and from the Nags Head end the James Dean of Bollywood, Hasan.

With the openers deciding on running everything between the wickets it was fairly soon that this approach would lead to a wicket which indeed it did. With their number 2 bat directing the ball to Hasan they went for their second run; needless to say he was left stranded in the middle of the wicket as the bails were removed, an excellent throw doing all the hard work from Has.

Hasan continued his spell and in no time had managed to remove two further wickets, one an excellent catch by Grego in gully and the other bowled, the Gnomes were in trouble, time to mix it up a bit thought the Skipper.

Enter the Tickler from the railway end and Rags from the Nags Head end. Its a common theme that rubbish gets wickets at the Meadow and this day was no different as Ticks lobbed down some very good deliveries, some average deliveries and two absolute shocking deliveries – he retired from the bowling attack with excellent figures of 4 overs 2 for 18, you can guess which deliveries gave the highest return. The first was a catch by Hasan who seemed to remember this week to pack his catching hands, unfortunately as the game went on he also seemed to have put them back again, the other catch was an absolute snorter from Jonty Rollinson, taking a low diving catch again in gully …..unbelievable.

Rags bowled a tidy 11 overs until he decided to vary it up with spin which the batsmen seemed to pick rather early and dispatch for 6 each time prompting the sage words from Rags himself, ‘maybe I will stop trying to spin it’ much to his teammates’ relief and the batsman’s frustration he did indeed stop and the runs dried up and a wicket soon fell.

With Tickles’ magnificent spell finished (just look in the book) Haimes Walters bowled a superb 7 overs and removed a Gnome that was starting to look quite comfortable. With his spell finished Skip asked Asad to do what Asad does best, as he returned figures of 4.3 overs and 3 for 9.

The Gnomes had posted a decent score of 173, and proved once again that they can indeed bat all the way down the order.

Tea was provided by Haimes and in true Pelican fashion a feast was laid on which was appreciated greatly by both sides.

With tea finished Asad and Kunaal strode out to chase down the Gnomic score of 173. Looking truly magnificent our two openers went about the Gnomes bowlers with relish as 4 followed 4. As the rest of the Pelicans sat back it came as quite a shock finally to see Asad caught whilst on 36, a lovely innings. Kunaal meanwhile continued with a new partner Jonty Rollinson, unfortunately a couple of balls later Grego was making his way back to the changing rooms, the victim of a questionable LBW decision as he hit the ball onto his pads.

Step forward a new partner for Kunaal, Ali.

Now those who have watched Ali bat know that all the shots are in there except forward defensive, in fact generally once 12 runs have been hit there descends a madness, when he changes from mild mannered cricket pro to his alter ego Dool. Today was no different as Dool Ali went about the bowlers like a man possessed, as 6 followed 6 followed 4 followed 4. Skip thought we will be finished in 20 minutes. Dool instead having smashed his way to 26 was bowled.

With Kunaal now getting his 50 Hasan joined him, unfortunately with 6 on the board Has soon was wandering back to the clubhouse, step forward Swish Tony, unfortunately after a few Swishes and 6 runs on the board he too had decided that batting was a mug’s game and returned back to the clubhouse. Unfortunately Kunaal soon followed having scored an excellent 54 and, with Asad, given the Pelicans an excellent start. The field was open for Adam and Tickles.

Adam having learnt from the master swished his way this way and that but unfortunately could not connect with any of the balls, with the overs ticking down Adam swished and missed once too often and he too returned to the clubhouse. The Pelicans were on 12 runs needed and 10 balls to go, all was looking good with the new pairing of Kankate R and Tickler until Rags was bowled leaving the score on 9 to win with 2 balls.

Toobes was sent out but could only hit 2 fours, match tied 173 apiece.

With the game over fines were handed out, the biggest donation this week coming from Swish Tony who had accidentally put on the spring loaded gloves.

An excellent game of cricket played in great spirit and with a man of the match being Grego for two stunning catches.

Final word to PG as he contemplated the result ‘I cant really remember when that last happened’. Josh remembered though – 2012 versus Wendover.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.