The big questions of the week were not the Tories’ lead slipping another rocket fired in North Korea or John Noakes dying, oh no, the big question was ‘How were the Pelis going to respond to the Hyde Heath defeat’….. I’ll tell you how, with a sodding big W thats how.

The omens looked poor after run machine and Pelis talisman Kunaal reported in with a broken body on Saturday, talk from the dressing room was more of the champagne lifestyle as befits the Georgie Best of Great Missenden Pelicans, but having tried most of Buckinghamshire Skip turned to Van Peanut to fill the last place.

On a blistering hot day the two Skippers went out to inspect the wicket. Using the Harris lucky 2 Euro tossing machine, yet another toss was won, further proof of the Skip being a magical tosser. In a heartbeat the opposition was put into bat. The delight of this decision was greeted surprisingly with dismay in the changing room as grumbles of ‘should have batted’ could be heard and also ‘Oooooooh shut that door’ but enough of Josh, the decision was taken and out we went.

Opening was the usual pairing of Toobes and Josh. Surprisingly this week there was a degree of symmetry in the bowling, with Toobes managing a degree of economy so far unseen this season. Josh continued as he has before returning figures of 7 overs 2 for 19, a particularly nice ball nipping back to remove the number 3 batsman. Toobes returned with figures of 6 overs 1 for 15. A platform had been set, bring forth Kankate and Peanut.

Showing the same form as weeks previous Kankate R bowled 8 overs to return figures of 2 for 20, really another day in the office for the Kankate bowling machine. The Wealdstone opener who was still at the crease – well I use that term very loosely as he took his guard what appeared to be 4 feet in front of the Umpire – had blocked his way to a low score, but was now sent to the clubhouse. His partner who had looked quite useful aged 63, was also sent back to the clubhouse by Rags with a particularly lovely ball that had him all over the place. Whoops of delight from Rags confirmed exactly how much he enjoyed it as he sent him trudging back from whence he came.

At the other end Peanut was using a slightly different technique to winkle out the batsmen. To some it’s variety, to others it’s inconsistency; whatever you may wish to call it, it yielded nothing but runs.

A lovely moment was watching Peanut, tongue sticking out, loosing his run up. Not an uncommon occurrence I hear you say for a bowler, but with a 2 step run up, let’s say unusual. Still Peanut battled on, bringing the opposition into the game until Skip removed him for fear of a first case of tongue burn at the Meadow.

Kankate continued his spell and Fairweather stepped in for Peanut, unfortunately it was not one of Adam’s best days at the office as he peppered second slip.

With the Wealdstone team edging past the hundred mark, two new bowlers were brought into the mix, namely Hasan and JG, maidens resumed as did wickets, Hasan taking two wickets, JG kept it tight from the other end, eventually tea was taken with the last two Wealdstone players still in.

Notable moments in the field came from Clive who had possibly taken a double dose of viagra by mistake as he covered the outfield like a rutting dear firing in balls to Tony with deadly accuracy. To every Ying there is a Yang in order to keep the cosmos in balance. Asad provided the Yang, one memorable occasion was watching him get slightly over excited as he fired a ball back to Tony. All looked fine, the ball was thrown back above the wickets, unfortunately it was about 20 feet above the wickets, and eventually came to stop at the other end of the field nestled against the boundary fence. It may not have got there if Rags had been backing up, unfortunately he was deep in conversation with the opposition’s umpire wanting to know his secret to long life.

Tea was taken, provided by Bailey D, a delicious affair incorporating a flock of chickens, not good if you’re a chicken but excellent if you’re a Pelican.

The Pelis took to the field requiring 143 to win, opening was Nicholls and JG. Returning to the clubhouse shortly after going out was Nicholls and JG, having set a solid base of 7. Murmurings in the club house of collapse could be heard as Bailey D made his way out to the wicket, unfair I know, but Bails had not exactly instilled confidence with his season so far. It did not go unnoticed to the watching crowd when Bails left his first ball, a cheer following this successful leave. This was followed by a 4 to get Bails off the mark. Asad at the other end started with a 3, immediately our score was doubled.

Still there was a slight unease in the air but this was completely misplaced as Bails and Asad went about the Wealdstone bowlers like dolphins around a sardine bait ball. Bails hit 4 after 4 and in no time flew past 50, Asad looked equally comfortable as he eased his way through the twenties.

Eventually all good things come to an end and on 63 Bails miscued and was caught mid wicket, Asad at the other end was getting more and more impatient and eventually was bowled by a 90-year-old for 30. A fine performance from Bailey and Rehman.

Following on were Hasan and Harris, who brought the game home with 12 overs to spare with a mixture of 4s and well-run singles. Hasan recorded 24 not out and Harris 7 not out, which complemented the excellent wicket keeping display we had witnessed.

The team retired to the Keys for Lord Chief Justice Peanut to administer fines which will be posted on the website.

Reports are intended to convey an entertaining picture of the day’s play. No disrespect is meant, but if on occasion we misjudge matters, please take it in the friendly and humorous spirit in which it is intended.